Many young people tweet all of their waking hours -- could this obsessive activity be holding them back from achievement?
As a self-proclaimed social media observer, I spend about an hour of my day searching social media sites for trends, interesting topics and conversations. In other words I'm a proud "Twatcher" (hey, if you don't want the public to know what you're tweeting about you shouldn't be publicly tweeting!)
While twatching I frequently find myself right in the middle of what they call #BlackTwitter .
On Black Twitter you can see all types of personalities, from the wannabe online comedians who would say just about anything for a LOL, to young women squeezing their boobs together to see how many compliments and retweets they can get. Of course you have the bloggers and social media gurus who are putting out good information and having important discussions, but their representation on Black Twitter is less conspicuous.
The first thing I've observed is that these tweeters, mostly young people under 25, are putting all of their business out on Front Street for the world to see. It's like a train wreck. If anyone ever wanted a view into the dysfunction in the black community USA, all they would have to do is pull up a chair and visit the Black Twitter hashtag (and I'm sure they already do).
But even more important than what others think of blacks is the the second thing I've observed: a lot of black twitterers tweet ALL DAY LONG. ALL... DAY... LONG. They tweet when they wake up, brush their teeth (twitpic the toothpaste), eat breakfast (twitpic the eggs), get into an argument with a family member, joke on other twitterers, eat lunch, drive in the car (twitpic the street sign on their favorite corner), eat dinner, watch a show on tv, eat a late night snack (twitpic), right up until they lay their head on the pillow and go to sleep. They probably are updating in their dreams too!
Some even tweet about their adventures in the club, WHILE in the club:
"Just took a shot... I can feel the liquid dripping down my throat!"
"Somebody fightin' (TWITPIC/VINE)!
"Ew this girl is ugly, I'm still gonna feel on her booty tho!"
Yes, it's gotten to the point where some can't even enjoy other people in real life without tweeting or Facebooking about it.
These young people also may not realize that their social media tweets are being archived in Library of Congress records forever, which means that when they're 40 years old and trying to find employment their prospective boss may still be able to find the Twitpic they took of their face pushed up next to their boobs or the joke they posted about how black women "don't deserve no respect" (good luck explaining that to the black lady who works in human resources!).
Ask Yourself Some Questions
YES! I realize this blog post is a bit judgy, but my purpose is not to shame people for their tweeting habits -- Twitter is a great networking tool and it's each person's business how they choose to use it.
I'm posting this topic to hopefully snap some bright young person out of it before she or he literally gets sucked into the matrix.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
1) Is Twitter making you any money? The only way I could justify making 100+ tweets each day is if I were getting paid to do so!
2) Do you want more out of life? A better job, more pay, to start a business or to pursue your art? What are you passionate about?
3) How can you be effectively pursuing your dreams or goals if the very first thought you have every day is what you're going to tweet about?
4) How can you fit much else into your life if you spend every hour of your day, EVERY day, tweeting or Facebooking? Time is our most valuable asset.
5) When was the last time you read a book or listened to an audio book about how to motivate yourself, achieve your dreams or become a more enlightened person?
This post may ruffle some feathers, but that's OK. I think it's worth talking about if the progress of much of the young black community is at stake. Social media is amazing, I love it, but it can also be an addictive distraction that takes people off their path in life.
I'm off my soap box, but I think it's important for parents/influencers of young people (millenials and teens) to talk to them about these things. It may seem like simple innocent fun now, but in the long term what will Twitter or Facebook do for these young people?
Question for the comments: what does the future of the average chronic Tweeter look like?
Love,
Tabby
Black
women empowerment sites provide support and information that black women and girls can use to become more educated, business-minded and empowered.
A couple of years ago I started my list of black women empowerment blogs, but felt that there was a need for a collection of black women empowerment websites that either 1) have a specific goal/purpose/mission to help sisters or 2) provide much needed information for black women and girls. This list is small but will continue to grow.
Feel free to add more to the comments area and spread it to your sisters (see the "Share" button below):
Black Women for Girls Giving Circle (a site that seeks to create a circle of giving and sharing information between black women and girls -- special programs based in NYC)
Black Women of Influence (networking site for black women in high places)
Black Girls Rock! (the charitable organization that grew into a popular BET Awards show and movement on Twitter -- providing mentoring resources for young black girls)
Black Girls Run! (encouraging sisters to be active and healthy -- "Preserve the Sexy")
Black Womens' Blueprint ("reclaiming ourselves," organizing and becoming empowered - 'nuff said)
Black Women Organized for Political Action (a membership of women who aim to "educate, train, and involve as many African American women as possible in the political process")
press CTRL+D to bookmark this page - more to come...
When certain stars and public figures call themselves black only to receive certain roles and benefits, that disrespects the legacy of people who are black 24/7/365.
I touched on this a bit when I wrote about
the Nina Simone biopic (a.k.a. travesty). Zoe Saldana only recently came out with
a few halfway comments to justify why she wore black face and a
prosthetic nose to depict an African American woman legend that many black women look up to for inspiration.
I embrace all women of all colors as my sisters.![By Roland Godefroy (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HURV7PeNunk/UWUXSHP8S1I/AAAAAAAAATE/aNqrEqgzbI8/s320/Nina_Simone14.JPG)
But one thing that I have a problem with is women (and men) who are only black when it is convenient for them.
When
a job pops up that calls for a black woman (such as Nina Simone or
casting for a black television show) there they are with application in hand,
proudly calling themselves black.
But any other time they are
something "other" for the benefit of mainstream appeal. For example,
there was a certain makeup commercial where a singer identified herself
as French and Native American, as if just being a proud African American black woman wasn't
enough.
Then we have the case of Latina women like Evelyn Lozada, Rocsi Diaz and a host of reality stars who like to call themselves
black, but only when it's convenient for them. Any other time they make it a
specific point to identify with the Hispanic/Latino community.
And
before anyone comes back with the "but they are black! their ancestors have African blood," line think about this. My black people have strong Cherokee lineage, but would we be
accepted into a Miss Cherokee contest? Would we be able to claim
Cherokee only when it's convenient for us to have an opportunity and then go back to being a proud
black woman tomorrow? I doubt it. That would be totally disrespectful to the Native American community.
Also, why is it that African
American women aren't asked to grace the cover of Latina magazine or
to host Telemundo? Why wasn't Mary J. Blige considered for casting as
Selena? If we're all black sisters in the struggle than that should be
happening by now, right?
What makes black the only race that's "interchangeable" and accepting of everyone into the ranks (even if it's just a one drop situation)? Yet no one else accepts us into their ranks, to play their roles, host their shows or represent their brands?
No one seems willing to answer that question.
Be Black 24/7/365
This
post is not meant to throw shade at or alienate my fellow sisters of color. It is
just to say if you're black, say it loud and proud 24/7/365! This is not
a game. Don't just pull out the Black Card when you feel that it will
give you a trump hand. Live black, love black, embrace black as your
history and legacy. If you can't do that then you are straight up
disrespecting our black heritage.
That's like moving in with someone,
claiming the home as your own, staying for a while, eating up all their
food, putting your feet up on their coffee table and then peace-ing out
without paying a dime of rent when a better living opportunity comes along. Disrespectful.
Black women and
men, those who didn't have any privilege of passing or claiming another
race/heritage when it was convenient slaved and fought for our civil rights.
Please don't disrespect our black ancestors and their struggle by using their
legacy and heritage only when it's convenient for you to make money or to get more attention.
Regardless
of your background, I love all of my sisters, and we can find unity by
respecting each other and our unique heritages properly. That shoutout goes especially
to you Ms. Saldana.
image by Roland Godefroy (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons
This post is in honor of Harriet Tubman, a true American Shero who put her life on the line for freedom.
Today March 10, 2013, marks the 100 year anniversary of the death of a true Shero, Mrs. Harriet Tubman (born Araminta Harriet Ross).
Mrs. Tubman didn't just talk about it, she was ABOUT it. She had a definite goal and set out to achieve it time and time again. She wasn't content to "get hers" and just live her free life -- she wanted to save others.
Over 11 years she went back to the pit of the South to save her family and other slaves. She made 13 trips.
Honoring Harriet
I attended an event in honor of Harriet Tubman today, and while I listened to her story told in much more depth than I had ever heard in history class, I thought about just how brave she was.
Think about it for a moment -- she planned 13 missions on foot back to the horrible place where her family was torn apart, where she worked for no pay and was treated like an animal. 13 times she had to get mentally prepared for this trip.
Some of us complain about having to get up and go to work in the morning. Or we make excuses about why we can't go mentor a child once or twice a month. Or we become deathly afraid of the idea of getting up in front of a group of people to speak our hearts about how we can improve our communities.
This small but feisty five-foot woman packed her revolver and a few things and set out on foot toward real danger, not once not twice but 13 times. Would we be that brave if it were necessary? Would we put our lives on the line for freedom?
Harriet Next Door
Who are the Harriets in your community or family? Who are the women or men who are willing to put their necks on the line time and again for the betterment of their children or communities? Honor them today, thank them, because it is a rare treasure to have someone like that in your midst.
Thank You Mrs. Tubman
Thank you Harriet Tubman. I am so proud to say that you are one of my ancestors. You encourage me to be stronger and to strive to do more. I feel that the best way to thank you properly is to commit myself to spreading positivity throughout my community... even if sometimes it is challenging and inconvenient.
I believe that if she were here, Harriet would still be trying to rescue us from the slavery that seems to be rampant in 2013 -- the enslavement of our minds.
Young Hadiya Pendleton's cold-blooded murder should get just as much attention from the black community and general media as Trayvon Martin's murder.
I finally sat down to think about why Hadiya Pendleton's murder irked me so much.
It's
because I was Hadiya Pendleton.
I was an honor roll student who earned straight
As, cared about my grades and listened to my elders for the most part. I
did everything I thought I was supposed to do as a child.
But I also hung around a "questionable" crowd as a preteen and teenager. My
best friend in elementary school was already dating and had sex by the time we were in the 4th grade. She and most of my friends were from an area that was
plagued with drugs and drama.
When I got older I continued to
hang around people who had a lot less to lose than I did while
continuing to do well in school. Even though I spent most weekends
hanging with my homies (both boys and girls), I was still on my way to an Ivy League college.
Would Anyone Have Cared?
So Hadiya's death brings up a number of issues for me personally:
1) If
I hadn't grown up in an area where the police actually cared and
actively pursued criminals, who's to say this wouldn't or couldn't have happened to me
or one of my other friends coming up?
2) Do black people only get raging mad when white people kill black kids? Why don't they get mad at other black people killing black kids?
3) As a young black girl,
would anyone have cared enough to crusade for me? Or would my story have
faded into the background after a few days under the chatter of the Superbowl or some other mainstream event? Would it have hit the mainstream media at all?
Which is why I admit, I became a bit upset when I saw my Twitter timeline filled with Superbowl chatter just days after Young Hadiya's death. Nowadays it seems that black people will
only jump into a fight for their own if their favorite celebrity does
too. The personal concern doesn't seem real.
But I realize now that all of this may be outside of my control. The fact is, we live in a society of narcissism and apathy and there are plenty of willing participants.
But I do have some power in the messages that I choose to transmit. I realize that I can't make certain black people care -- that is
out of my control. But what I can control is my tweets and how much
attention I pay to this particular case.
In Memoriam and Remembrance
My Twitter account is
dedicated to Hadiya Pendleton news in the month of February 2013. I'd rather call this Hadiya month than Black History month, because so many black people just don't seem to really appreciate the sacrifices our ancestors made so that we could live free and have more fruitful lives.
Also, after this month the ClassyBlackLady.com blog will focus more on researching and posting
positive news about black women rather than mainstream news.
As someone who traversed a similar path that Hadiya Pendleton did at the age of 15 and beyond, I'm sending so much love and support to
her family with this post. I'm praying that the
killer is found before he has a chance to terrorize another child or
family.
Some of us do genuinely care about this tragedy and desperately want to implement a solution to the violence plaguing black communities across the country.
Read about how some of Hadiya's classmates have proposed a 6-point plan of action.
 |
| Courtesy Netflix |
While up late on a Netflix watching spree, I came across a movie entitled Bedevilled. I quickly realized that in a lot of ways this movie is the Korean version of The Color Purple.
It told the story of a South Korean woman who is light-skinned/white who goes to visit her country friend who was of a darker complexion (due to working in the fields) and lives on an island off the mainland. The darker skinned friend is basically a community slave -- she works hard labor while her husband mostly shuffles around and even sleeps with prostitutes in their bedroom.
The darker skinned friend is oppressed and beaten by her husband who is one of the only men on the island. Because of his "rare" status, the older women on the island treat him like he is gold. Even when it is revealed that the husband may be having sexual relations with the young daughter, the older women of the island protect him at all costs.
Similar Themes in Black America
While watching, I couldn't help seeing the parallel between the darker skinned friend's plight and what is going on in the black community in the United States today. First of all, it illuminates that even in South Korea light skinned/white skinned people are treated with preference and regard while the darker skinned people are mostly downtrodden and regarded as mules.
Most importantly, watching the older women "coddle" the men on their island even when they have clearly become monsters struck me.
The older "mothers" of the community (all single themselves) looked down on the dark-skinned Korean wife while constantly singing the praises of her abusive, pedophile husband. They ganged up on the wife, constantly called her a "bitch" or "whore" and told her she should be happy to have ANY man in her life. Any man to take care of her illegitimate girl-child. They were so desperate to have a man around on the isolated island that they actually made excuses for why he should be able to sleep with her seven-year-old child, and it only gets worse.
It made me wonder, do we have women like this in the black community in the United States? Women (and men) who will defend bad men no matter how depraved they become? Those who indict women and girls at every opportunity but defend and protect the negative behavior of some black men, including sexual assault, gangbanging, drug dealing and killing? Those who will not hold them responsible for taking up their roles as men/fathers while hanging the weight of the world on black women/mothers?Are there women, like the ones in this movie, who have given up on a normal happy life and now actively try to drag other young women into their same brand of misery? How can the blind lead the blind?
Les Miserables
This movie was for the most part heartbreaking and I do not recommend it for those who do not like hard life tales or gruesome tragedies. But it was also eye opening. What types of messages are some older black women really sending younger black girls? Are some black women so desperate to keep men around in their neighborhoods and homes that they would tolerate just about anything? Are they unconsciously turning the current crop of young girls into a generation of "Les Miserables," dooming them to repeat the same cycles of misery?
* Be forewarned, while it may have some similar themes, Bedevilled certainly does not end like The Color Purple.
Movie Review by Sammi Jace
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Folks who always seem to have a contrary opinion can be a major obstacle to real progress in the black community.
Classy Black Lady Note: This blog post was about 90% written a week before the Shawty Lo Minstrel Show hit my radar. The talk around whether it's worthwhile for blacks to petition this show at all is a perfect example of what this blog post is about. Watch for the contrarians, detractors, deflectors and distractors.
We've all seen them in action. They are the cousins of the classic Uncle Tom persona. They are second cousins to what the kids call "haters." They aren't quite against black progress but they continually doubt the possibilities and distract us from the main point.
Whenever someone in the black community is bold enough to stand up and do or say something different and progressive, here come the contrarians being... contrary. If we listen to them, ultimately nothing will get done. You could tell them the sky is blue and they'll argue saying: no, it's really "bluish-green with a hint of yellow."
An Example
Let's take an example. Most of us know the story of Malcolm X. He was making real, bold progress and changing minds in the black community. The progressive black people around him wanted him to continue full-force.
But then came the distractors, detractors and contrarian voices:
"He thinks he's better than us!"
"He's wants to be bigger than the organization!"
"He's pro-violence!"
Never mind that Malcolm X was doing awesome things in and around the black community. His detractors couldn't just stay focused on that.
We all know what happened in the end -- the contrarians won that battle and a great leader was taken from us. Who knows where the black community might be if Malcolm X had lived to a ripe old age?
Being Contrary Since the Slave Days
I imagine contrarians were around even in the slave days. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Harriet Tubman had to deal with a few as she was working hard to liberate hundreds of black people.
"Why are you taking that route Harriet? That's just stupid. We could take this way and get there 10 minutes sooner!"
"Why is she carrying a pistol around though? I don't like that. Ugh, I just can't support violence, so I'll stay right here with massa."
These voices distract us with petty arguments that pull us away from the main goal. If you let them win, you'll end up arguing with them all day long and nothing will ever get done.
They'll zap you of your confidence. Not only that, but they could take your rep down a few pegs if you participate in childish or petty arguments with them in public.
Why?
So are these black people hired agents of disruption or are they just the type who like to argue for arguing's sake? Or maybe it's just a common show of narcissism?
I honestly don't know yet, what do you think?
I would say that in any case they are even bigger enemies to progress in the black community than blatant white racists or "Uncle Tom" types. They are an even bigger problem because we don't always recognize the black contrarian as an enemy to our progress as readily as we recognize a racist person or an Uncle Tom persona.
In many cases distractors, deflectors, detractors and contrarians hang around in black spaces and pretend to be down for the cause but always have a dissenting opinion ready. They play the devil's advocate on just about every issue. They just can't seem to get on board. They have to find a problem with every idea. They also tend to be loud, very vocal and sometimes fairly witty.
Beware the Contrarian
If you have a goal that you want to achieve in the black community, whether it is a mentoring center for kids, a blog, a magazine, or an idea for a television show, just beware of the contrarian. Follow these steps:
1. Identify the person as a distractor, detractor, deflector or contrarian -- not publicly but for your own information. However be careful not to confuse a contrarian with someone who is providing you with honestly constructive feedback that could improve your plan. You'll know the difference. In many cases constructive feedback comes in private.
2. Avoid further communication with the contrarian once you have them pegged. They want you to argue and get distracted by petty issues. When you cease communication they may become frustrated and continue to prattle on to anyone who will listen. Let them. Stay focused on your plan.
3. Remove anyone who is a potential distractor or deflector from your circle immediately. They can be more destructive than any other force that would threaten your main goal -- especially when they're working from within.
4. Analyze whether YOU may be a contrarian yourself. When someone comes up with an idea do you try to shoot it down or distract with a petty comment ala "You spelled 'its' wrong in the second paragraph -- I can't listen someone who can't even spell correctly!" They call this "throwing the baby out with the bathwater." Don't be an agent to the potential downfall of someone else's idea or plan -- just make your own!
5. No matter what, if you believe in your idea to help the black community, stay focused and positive.
Peace and Love
![By Roland Godefroy (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HURV7PeNunk/UWUXSHP8S1I/AAAAAAAAATE/aNqrEqgzbI8/s1600/Nina_Simone14.JPG)
