5:05 PM | 1 comments | african american lady, african american women, black beautiful women, black beauty, black mature women, black women love, classy black lady, classy black women, dating black women, strong black women
Let me just preface this by saying I’m a pretty girl. I’m a very young-looking lady in her thirties. Smart, intuitive, and I make my own money. I’m healthy and in-shape, medium length hair (no weave), with smooth chocolate brown skin. I’m not a gold digger and I’m farrrrr from ghetto. I went to a very good college and graduated (though that doesn’t seem to matter much today!). I love my family and I treat my loved ones like gold. I have a positive outlook on life.
But about a month ago, I was going through a bit of a depression. I had just ended yet another relationship and was starting to realize that men just aren’t the same as they were 10 years ago. Sad, but true.
Unfortunately, now many men treat women like trash to be thrown away when they’re done. They don’t appreciate or value class in a woman it seems.
My “mistake” in my last few short relationships was being too proud to be treated like trash. I stood up for myself. I didn’t do anything that I didn’t want to do. I didn’t compromise my self-worth for these men and they responded with childish games. So I ended the relationships.
Years ago, telling a guy about himself and ending the relationship would cause the guy to get some “act right” as we black women sometimes like to call it.
But not anymore ladies! Now they just move on and find fast, silly girls with no morals who will do everything and anything they want. And I do mean ANYthing. In their minds, they’ve got it made. (By the way, I will talk about what eventually happens to these guys in another blog post).
So after this last breakup, I started to wonder if maybe I have the wrong approach. Maybe I should bend and fold to the every whim of the men I date. Maybe I should chase them, call them every day, and ask THEM out on dates. Maybe I should let my boobs pop out of my dress on dates. Maybe I should get on my knees (if you know what I mean) every day to prove how much I want the guy I’m with.
And for a hot minute, I was actually considering this approach. I’m not going to lie to you. I thought, obviously, what I’ve been doing so far hasn’t worked. I’ve been engaged but never married. I’ve never truly been in love. I don’t have guys lining up at my door like I did in college. So maybe it’s time for ME to change.
But before I had a chance to put this new “plan” in action, I caught a glimpse of one of my favorite black female role models, First Lady Michelle Obama, on television–looking stunning as usual. She inspires me.
I started to think about how she managed to maintain her integrity, stay classy, and snag a man who would one day be President. She’s also independent and strong, and people love that about her. She is valued and loved by many.
I took a deep breath and got back to my senses. I’m not going to stop being classy and smart for ANY body.
I printed up a few pictures of women who I thought were classy and posted them on my bedroom wall for motivation. Then I made a promise to myself (and to God) that I will not allow the world to change me into a classless, loose, desperate women who lacks morals.
So I’ve started this blog and my website www.classyblacklady.com for 3 reasons:
1) To support classy black women (and women in general) and to say “you’re not crazy nor wrong.” Stay classy and don’t let anyone compromise your morals. We need more classy women to combat the ignorant stereotypes of black women that are splashed across our television, computer, and movie screens.
2) To put trashy, easy women who are spoiling men on the spot and try to encourage them to change. Trashy girl, your tactics for getting and keeping men don’t work either (at least not for the long haul). Start demanding respect from men and the world. At least you’ll have your dignity intact.
3) To encourage young black ladies who are coming up among disrespectful and ignorant young men to maintain their morals and stay classy.
My personal focus of course, as a black lady, is black women. But these ideals can apply to women of all races and backgrounds. I pray that non-black women will not be offended by the focus of this blog and still find value in the advice and posts.
In my blog and on my website I will discuss a variety of issues and create a special community for classy black ladies, including:
* Dating & relationships
* Postings of news and photos about classy black female celebs (we need to build them up)
* Beauty tips and features
* Dressing with class not like trash
* History nuggets and profiles of strong black women
* Statistics about how powerful black women are to the community around us
* Polls to gauge your opinions on various issues
* Message boards encouraging discussions among black women who are proud to be classy and intelligent
* Personal mantras that we can adopt to keep us resilient even when the temptation to be trashy instead of classy is so strong
* Blogs and articles from married black women who found their husbands while maintaining their integrity and class
* Much more….
Out with the Trash... In with the Class!