I read an article weeks ago that stated that the Real Housewives of Atlanta ratings on Bravo weren't doing very well. I thought that was strange being that every other source I read said they were doing amazing for a Bravo /cable show.

real housewives of atlanta, rhoa
Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast
Then I read another article that said the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills series had the highest ratings of all the "Housewives" series'.

Then just tonight I came across yet an article on Perez Hilton's website entitled Atlanta Housewives Aren't Bringing It In The Ratings!

The only problem is that all of these articles and blogs were lying! I mean, bold-faced lies.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta is the highest rated show out of all the Housewives series. It consistently gets well over 2 million viewers while the other series barely make over 1 million viewers. 

Commentators on the article posted on Perez Hilton article exposed the inconsistency -- the article mentioned ratings for an episode of RHOA that hadn't even aired yet! What is going on here?

In fact, the latest ratings released December 7, 2010 state that the Real Housewives of Atlanta recently broke the 3 million viewers mark (3.22 million viewers to be exact). Don't believe me? See it here at TV By the Numbers.  The Beverly Hills series receives about 1.5 million viewers each week on average.

So I am not going to spend much time speculating on why some online blogs and news outlets have been lying about Real Housewives of Atlanta's ratings -- instead I just wanted to expose this ongoing lie buzzing around certain blogs and clarify that RHOA is doing just fine ratings-wise.

Again, the Real Housewives of Atlanta is and has always been the highest rated out of all the Housewives series on the Bravo channel. The gals on RHOA are extremely entertaining and well-loved -- often imitated but never duplicated.

So please news outlets stop lying on the show, whatever your reasons may be.

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5 specific cases where black rappers have disrespected black women in songs, videos and the media. Boycott rappers. Part 1
I have decided to launch a mini-crusade against rappers. In a previous post I implored black ladies not to financially support rap music by disrespectful male rappers anymore, period, end of story. But I'm not sure if the message is getting out there as it should. I think we are letting too much stuff slide black ladies. What do you think?

Black male rappers have been blatantly disrespecting black women in videos and songs for over two decades now. That is over 20 years of negativity that members of our own race have been propagating throughout the black community. I specifically target black male rappers because they are the only ones who seem to be going out of their way to disrespect black women for some reason.

We wonder why many little black boys are so disrespectful and angry at the world. We also wonder why many little black girls tend to have lower self esteem and get involved with the same boys and men who are disrespecting and hurting them.

So to help promote my anti-rap crusade, I decided to create a list of specific instances where black male rappers have disrespected, insulted or put down black women and girls. This is a running list that will continue as time goes on. These rappers seem perfectly willing to keep giving me ammo, so I will continue to build on this list in future parts. Here goes:

Lil Wayne – Right Above It Song

I had a difficult time choosing just one instance of rapper Lil Wayne, as he has an entire portfolio full of songs where he disrespects or insults black women specifically. We all know about his constant references to wanting a "red bone" and getting jollies from likening kicking B-words and H-words out of his condo like Pam from Martin. 

This is all despite the fact that Lil Wayne has a beautiful dark-skinned black little daughter and ex-wife (Toya) who are two of the most wonderful classy black ladies I've seen on reality television. It's all very ironic.

Now the disrespect to black women from Lil Wayne that I decided to note in this list is very slight and sneaky. You probably haven't even caught it yet. In his song "Right Above It" featuring Drake, this is what this black man with a dark-skinned daughter says:

"How do you say what's never said?

Beautiful black women, I bet that bitch look better red"

Not only did he discount the black skin of the woman in his story and say that she probably would look better "red" (as in light-skinned or red-bone), he went a step further and called her a bitch. If you do not believe me, listen to the lyrics here. The reference comes right around the 3:00 mark.

Can you believe this? Saying that a black woman would look better with light or white skin is a mark of a black male who is truly lost. Does that include your daughter, Lil Wayne? Malcolm X, where are you brother we need you bad.

Rick Ross – Aston Marton Music Song

In the video, Rick Ross take a trip back in time to when he was a kid. The young, dark-skinned black girl is portrayed as "a hater" while the biracial curly-haired girl encourages him. The exchange happens right at the beginning of the video:

Now why would Rick Ross go out of his way to cast a very dark-skinned little black girl in this video to play the one negative role in the piece? Why would he pit dark versus light in this way. Also, as you can see the girl's hair is unkempt, she has one earring and she switches her neck around in an angry fashion – another negative stereotype of black women and girls. It seems as if Rick Ross and his producers went out of their way to cast a black girl for this role. Why not put a hating young boy in that role instead of taking this very blatant shot at darker-skinned young black girls? Throughout the rest of the video the same biracial curly-haired girl (presumably) is enjoying all of the spoils of success with Rick Ross.

You don't think little black girls watch these videos and absorb this negativity about themselves on TV? This is precisely why Black Girls Rock! was needed.

Chris Brown & Friends – Deuces Remix

I heard this song, ironically, when I was driving home from attending the Black Girls Rock awards show back in November and it came on the radio. After hearing one black male rapper after another jump on the track to disrespect and insult women, I had a moment -- where the hell did all this intense woman hate come from, especially from black rappers? Their angry and disrespectful lyrics were full of calling women b-words and telling women that they are "leaving" and chucking up the "deuces." (So does that mean they're going to try other men now, or what?) I would bet real dollars that each and every one of those rappers had one or more dedicated black woman who helped him get by in his life.

I shook my head after being bombarded with beauty, elegance and positive images of black women, then I get into my car and hear a PERFECT example of why more shows and efforts like Black Girls Rock are needed.

You judge for yourself – here is a clip to the song, where black rappers let all their true feelings of hate for women shine through:

Jay Z - Black Woman as a "Double Zero"

Jay Z is yet another rapper who we have countless examples of disrespect of black women and girls. I can distinctly remember "back in the day" when his song "Girls, Girls, Girls" came out and he took the opportunity to attach every negative stereotype he could think of to the black woman in his story. Well I chose another more recent yet more obscure offense instead.

In his video "On to the Next One," which many people associated with satanic images, there is one image in particular that stood out to me. There is a young dark black woman with traditional African corn rows in the video, just standing around looking sad with two zeros on her chest. Subliminal messaging.

Here is the video. You first see her right around the 0:24 mark in the video, but she appears throughout.

Now what does this image mean? Is Jay Z and his producers telling this black woman that she is not only a ZERO, but a double ZERO and he/black men/the world should be "on to the next one." Is he saying she is a zero because she won't move onto the next level of putting weave in her hair, contacts in her eyes and sexing herself up in the way that his wife, Beyonce, has done?

Black women, open your eyes and don't allow subliminal messages like this to seep into your psyche. You are everything.

Slim Thug Insults Black Women

Slim Thug let his true feelings for black women out in an interview with Vibe Magazine earlier this year that got a lot of media attention. I wrote a blog post about him on as well here. In the interview he states:

"Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now." (so basically Slim Thug feels that black women should have low self-esteem and standards in life)

"My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the shit that I say, so we make it" (basically supporting a white supremecist belief that white is better or superior. He does not even realize that he has insulted himself as well as a black person)

Here is the link to the actual interview:

Slim Thug is a disgrace to black people all over the world.


I only posted 5 cases here, but there are countless others and I do plan to post as many of them as possible before I'm done. I think it's high time we start shining the light on these black male rappers and their specific offenses toward black women.

I'm doing my part.

YOUR JOB: Spread this article around to as many black women as you can. Also, if you can name a few instances, please email me them or post them under comments. Like this on Facebook if you support my little anti-rap campaign.


Feel free to share the logo:



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Black Girls Rock Awards
Snapshot of the BET Black Girls Rock Website
Attending BET's Black Girls Rock! awards show this past weekend was an inspirational experience. The show airs on BET on November 7 at 8pm

This past weekend I had the wonderful privilege of being able to attend an amazing and extremely successful event held by BET called Black Girls Rock. I received an invite after having donated to the Black Girls Rock! organization in the past.
I initially thought this would be a small panel of black women discussing the achievements and beauty of black women.

But boy was I surprised when I found out that this was a full fledged awards show complete with performances by some of my favorite female R&B singers .

I'm talking about Keisha Cole! Monica! Jill Scott! Keri Hilson! And Fantasia!! The gorgeous and classy Nia Long was hosting. I was reeling with excitement when I learned this to be true.

The venue and attendees were a classy black girl's dream. Everyone from the security professionals to the attendants were professional and kind. I was ushered right up to the front to an available seat so I had a bird's eye view of all the celebs sitting down and performing on stage.

The awards show honored everyone from the beautiful and classy young 17-year-old Keke Palmer to the first black female Major General of the United States Marcelite Harris. Toward the end they gave the Black Girls Rock living legend award to Ruby Dee, a sweet but still feisty woman who served to inspire me time and again as I watched her presentation.

Even the band was made up of talented black girls who rock—the drummer was really doing her thing!
Also toward the end, a quartet featuring Jill Scott, Marsha Ambrosius, Kelly Price and Ledisi rocked the audience's world. They sang a rendition of Four Women by Nina Simone, which ended with a standing ovation to end all ovations.

This BET Black Girls Rock! event shook me to the core. It was so nice to see my own vision for the future of black women in America, as you can see from the establishment of this Classy Black Lady website, finally start to come to fruition.
black girls rock
Black Girls Rock airs Nov 7 on BET

The event was dedicated to black girls and women out there struggling to make a way. It encouraged us all to keep pushing on because we are best that ever did it. Black women, we are the ish

I learned new things at this event, including a gem from Ruby Dee: "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there."

I have decided to recommit myself to this website project and blog more regularly despite my hectic schedule -- my goal is at least 2 new posts per week -- thanks to the inspiration I received from attending this Black Girls Rock! Awards show.

Listen classy black ladies, do not miss the televised broadcast of Black Girls Rock! on BET, November 7 at 8pm. Be there or be square.

Sit down with your young daughters, sisters, nieces, friends and mothers. Do not let this wonderful show for black women slip by you -- I never thought I'd be saying this but THANK YOU BET. And thank you, thank you, thank you to Beverly Bond, the founder of the organization.

Please donate to the Black Girls Rock! charity by texting "IROCK"
along with the dollar amount of your donation to 27138  or just visit the Black Girls Rock website.

I told you classy black ladies in a blog post that our time was coming. Despite the media's attack on black womanhood over the past several years, still we rise

So what are you waiting for? It's time for you to make your move rockin' black girl, whether it's to start your own business, start a new and exciting career, make more positive black woman news, improve your community, motivate little black girls, or any combination of these wonderful and very realistic goals!

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Chad Ochocinco and VH1 are learning a hard lesson about disrespecting and disregarding the value of putting classy black ladies on TV. 

A few months ago, black football player Chad Ochocinco was exposed for selectively ruling black women out of his show, The Ultimate Catch, on VH1. Wendy Williams interviewed him about it on her show, and he was unapologetic.

Not only did he rule out classy black women from his show (classlessly throwing in a few stereotypical "ghetto girls" at the end for some drama) he also took it to another level by selecting a lot of trashy types to "compete for his heart" instead.

Well, I just happened to check the ratings for this show today and like I predicted, classy seems to be beating trashy.

Chilli's classy show What Chilli Wants regularly exceeded 1.3 million viewed each night on Sunday when it was on the air and achieved a peak viewership of about 1.6 million. Ms. Chilli was promptly asked to return for a 2nd season.

Ochocinco's The Ultimate Catch is struggling for viewers, barely making the TV ratings radar at about 800,000 to 850,000 viewers.

Update: make that 663,000 viewers for the Ochocinco show as of 8/10/10. (Source: TVbytheNumbers)

Even VH1 is wondering what's going on here. The show did ok on the premier episode due to all the controversy, then started to tank.

(Image courtesy i10media)
There are 3 lessons here (in case VH1 is still confused):

1) Viewers like classy shows more than trashy ones (at least when it comes to VH1 reality television shows). Young ladies there's a lesson in this for you -- there's no future or success in trashiness, despite what the media might tell you.

2) Black women make up a significant percentage of reality TV viewers, and we will not subject ourselves to being blatantly disrespected and disregarded in the media without fighting back.

3) Over half a million (500,000 to 800,000) dedicated reality show viewers stood up and effectively boycotted the ignorance of the Chad Ochocinco show instead of allowing themselves to be subjected to Flavor of Love on steroids.

Bravo ladies and gentlemen--and to black women in particular, do you see how powerful boycotting is? Now let's do the same to rappers who disrespect black women in songs and in the media please--starting today.

If you're a reality television fan, tweet VH1 and tell them to put more classy black ladies like Chilli and Pepa on the station!

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Black women, you are the ish! Be proud of your African heritage, looks, traits, and roots. 

Black is beautiful. Young black ladies, show more pride in your African features, history, and uniqueness.

- Hold your head up high whenever you are walking down the street. Don't walk around looking at the ground or feeling sad -- you are a strong African-esque woman ACT LIKE IT!

- Stop trying to assimilate to white culture--that is a recipe for disaster. You might have white friends, but that doesn't mean you have to be just like them. You are not white and you will never be white--get that through your beautiful head and be thankful, because many white people envy your rich culture, strength in the face of adversity, and your distinctive African features. They try to make you feel inferior based on their own personal inferiority complex. You are an African American woman and you're beautiful in your own right--remember that. How ironic that whites spend thousands of dollars each year (dark tanning, injections, and implants) trying to look just like YOU! Celebrate your own culture black woman.

- Get in shape girl. Health and fitness should be a top priority for you as a strong black woman. Who said you have to be rail thin and unhealthy like most celebrities and models? Aim for a curvy, healthy and fit physique. Visit a website like Black Women's Health or Livestrong (where you can set goals and "dares" for yourself and make commitments with other members) to start getting on the track to better health.

- Get rid of the negative people around you. if you have a friend, boyfriend, or even a family member who's constantly saying negative things about black women or black people in general EX that person out of your life permanently. He/she isn't worth your presence! The influence of others is very real, it's why kids who grow up being told they aren't going to amount to anything usually don't and have very low self-esteem. 

- If you wear a messy weave or wig, take that fake mess out of your hair and proudly display your African locks. Who said you have to wear your hair bone straight like a white girl--the perm factory that makes millions off of your regular purchases? There's nothing wrong with wearing your hair (even if it's relaxed) in a big puffy or wavy Afro style along with a pair of huge hoop earrings (another African accessory) sometimes -- spray your AFRICAN hair with some oil sheen and go ! Go to Black Hair Media and network with other black ladies regarding natural or healthy relaxed styles. You might be surprised at how the "others" stare and gawk when they see a black woman proud of her African heritage and roots walking around with her head held high.

- Surround yourself with like minded african american women and positive brothers who love black people. If you live in a mostly white area, go one of the "chocolate cities" (DC, philadelphia, chicago, atlanta) to see how progressive black people there love themselves and each other. Leave the negative black websites alone and visit other positive black websites dedicated to celebrating black female beauty, such as Coco and Creme, Brown Sista, and Hello Beautiful and My Black is Beautiful.

Love Tabby

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Black women empowerment blogs are popping up all over the internet, thriving and mark the beginning of a long-needed revolution in the community.

I've decided to start a running list of all of some of the popular black women empowerment blogs on the net. I've provided a link to an interesting post from each website. Feel free to add more to my blog roll and spread it to your sisters (see the "Share" button below):

What About Our Daughters? (a darn good question if you ask me)

I'm a Good Woman very balanced and encouraging blog by a beautiful black lady

The Angry Black Woman 

Black Women Fight Back! (contains a great listing of solutions for empowering black women one day and struggle at a time)

The New Elegant Black Woman Etiquette advice and other tips for creating an army of refined and elegant young black ladies.

For Brown Girls A website by a bright and beautiful 19-year old college student to provide support and encouragement to lovely darker-skinned ladies!

The Crunk Feminist Collective A group of hip hop generation feminists of color.

Cafe Belle A site that discusses a variety of black woman issues.

Bourgie Black Girl Sista who tells it like it is.

For Harriet The name says it all. 

Time Hills Empowering girls and women to be great. 

Inevitable Success Motivating and empowering tips for minority women.

While I might not endorse every opinion expressed on these black women empowerment blogs, I 100% endorse black women empowerment in general!

I will return with more and update this list on a regular basis.....

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Omarosa on The Ultimate Merger (comes on Thursdays at 10pm on TVone) is a pleasant surprise. Some call it the black version of the Bachelorette, but I say it's even BETTER because it's more realistically done.

Like many people who have seen the villain-ess Omarosa Manigault in action from the early days of the Apprentice, I judged Ms. Manigault as an angry and unnecessarily mean woman. I admit. But after seeing three episodes of her new TV show "The Ultimate Merger" on TVOne (10pm Thursdays) I am changing my tune a bit.

Yes, the lady is intense. But more and more I'm starting to see her other (very flattering) layers reveal themselves. Here are a few comments about the show so far:

1. For one, Omarosa is a knockout. I mean wow, you can tell this lady has taken great care of her skin, body and hair. She made me want to go get a vat of cocoa butter.

2. Secondly, this show makes it clear that Omarosa is not the one dimensional "B-word" that she's made herself out to be to become famous. In fact, she is a very multi-faceted lady. She is fearless, smart, and caring.

When one of the brothers on the show revealed that he had served time in prison, she didn't roll her eyes at him and draw a line through his name immediately. Instead she held his hands, encouraged him, and gave him a huge sisterly hug. That is what true black women are about, and that is why I love black women dearly.

3. Finally, I am glad that Omarosa made a clear statement by choosing a majority of black men (distinguished types) instead of mixing the cast up like some shows do when a black person is the chooser. I never understood why on shows like the Bachelor, it was fine for one minority to be placed on a cast of majority whites, but on black shows there has to be a fair percentage of non-blacks.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to see ignorant black men on any show, just for the sake of being black, but in this case you can tell that the producers picked well-off, professional, smart, educated black men. Yes, they do exist.  Maybe some brother should create a "classy black man" website lol.

Here is a clip from the show:

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There has been a mainstream media attack launched against black women over the past two years. Now black women are fed up and fighting back.

Over the past year and a half to two years, the mainstream media has been treating black women like targets at a shooting range. And you don't even have to be a black woman to notice this anymore. It's no longer paranoia--it's a very real fact.

Just to quickly summarize the ongoing negative themes we hear about black women constantly in the media:

  • Why are so many black women single and lonely (as if other races of women don't have any problems finding good men)
  • Successful black women don't get married (so I guess we're all supposed to "dumb down" and seek lesser paying jobs)
  • Half of black women s t d carriers (completely misleading statistics released by the CDC based on a small sample taken in economically disadvantaged areas which was then discredited by a variety of medical professionals)
  • Black women only have $5 net worth (despite the fact that a news story revealed that black women make more than white women on average-- see it here)
  • Black women should act more like "other" women (courtesy a black male rapper named "Slim Thug" whose career has been supported and promoted by black women and girls loyally over the years)

You know the usual news headlines that attempt to emotionally and psychologically break down the psyche of strong black women. 

Don't believe me?

Do a search for the term "black women" in Google right now....

On the very first page of results you see "Jezebel Stereotype," "70% of african american women are single" and "Black women unmarried." The results may change as this blog post ages, but why is it that we black women can't even do a search for ourselves without getting slammed with negative stories online?

I have a theory about why the mainstream media has chosen black women as a target, and I have written about it briefly on my ClassyBlackLady.com about page. 

I personally believe that the media chose to start this attack on black women right after Michelle Obama became the First Lady of the United States. It seems as if the positive image of this wonderful black lady in the White House was just too much for the media to handle. 

Think about it. The negative portrayals, stories, and statistics (all severely slanted and misguided) about black women started popping up in the news cycle a little under two years ago. Right around the time that Mrs. Obama became the First Lady. Strange, huh?

Well, Black Women Have Had Enough

For a while, this negative media left black women reeling and surprised. "Where did all of this come from?" many of us asked ourselves.

But after doing some research on the various blogs and websites online, I'm starting to see an encouraging trend among my beautiful, strong, resilient sisters.

Black women are FED UP and FIRED UP!

Many of us have finally decided to start fighting back against this negative media onslaught by starting (and posting to) blogs, websites, and campaigns to inject positive news about black women into the mainstream media.

Also, we're starting to realize the fullness of our economic power in the United States. As I've quoted many times, black women spend over $600 billion every year. If we stop giving that money to companies, entertainers and media outlets who openly disrespect black women and start  funneling the majority of that cash back into other black women-owned businesses, imagine how powerful we can really become as a group.

I have always said and I still believe going forward that black women will have our day. One day, the same media enterprises, groups, and individuals that have tried to rip our image to shreds will be kissing our feet and begging for our forgiveness, trying to get back in our good graces. That includes the Chris Rocks, D.L. Hughleys, Slim Thugs, Lil Waynes, and John Mayers of the world. When that does happen, be sure to kick the beggars away -- they have made their beds and we should most certainly let them lie in it.

Our black female ancestors, grandmothers, mothers, aunts and sisters have suffered through injustice after injustice in this country, continued to survive, and remain strong. We can not let them down now. 

Black sisters: continue to fight back while staying classy. Spend your money with other worthy sisters and brothers whenever possible. I will be back with more positive, encouraging news soon.

Love Tabby

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Black women, it's time we stop supporting black rappers once and for all. Starting TODAY.

I recently came upon a story about a rapper named Slim Thug. He has chosen to take the degradation of black women by rappers to another level with some very mean comments toward the same women who birthed, raised and supported him to the status he's at now. I won't go into details about what he said, because frankly it's mostly gibberish, but you can read the article and comments here.

Now I don't commonly like to post negative news about my lovely black sisters here at classyblacklady.com -- the purpose of this blog is to uplift the black female community. But shortly after his comments were publicized, a black man of merit Professor Marc Lamont Hill (pictured to the left) stepped forward and put this "Slim Thug" in his place. It's so nice to see a good black man finally come to the forefront in defense of black women for a change. 

By the way, hey Will Smith, Denzel, Mike Epps and black men in the entertainment biz: where are you brothers when black women are being attacked like this in the media? We supported you all day in and out to get you to where you careers are--so why are you suspiciously silent when nonsense like this makes it way up to the top of the news cycle against your staunchest supporters?

But back to the topic at hand. I just want to speak to black women right now. I seriously think it's time for us to stop supporting black rappers. PERIOD. They disrespect us in just about every song, praising non-black women (beckys) and lusting after "red bones." I recently heard a song by Lil Wayne on the radio promoting the single ho-rrific life that many black men now think is "normal." No other race of men disrespects and disregards their women the way that these black "men" do.

So why are you, a proud sista with sense, still supporting this mess from black rappers?

Did you know that black women have a buying power of more than $600 BILLION each year? (Source: WomenEntrepeneur). It's estimated that black women account for 85% of buying decisions in the black community. 

Black women lets wield that power starting today. Stop supporting the work of black "men" who don't and won't support you through their art and in their personal lives. If you absolutely must listen to a rap song that's degrading women and droning on about the same old same old above a catchy beat, go old school and tape it from the radio or listen on youtube. Do not spend another dime on the likes of Slim Thug or any other rapper who has disrespected black women in the media or his songs. 

Continue to uplift true, dedicated black men like Professor Hill who is aware of his history and isn't afraid to speak up on the behalf of his sisters. 

That is all I have to say on that matter. Now black women, lets continue rising up and getting stronger.

Love Tabby

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This message is to the very first generation of crack dealers in the black community. You know, the Nicki Barnes', Frank Lucas' and Nino Brown's (even though he was fictional he did exist in many corridors of the black community). This is a long post and different from my usual content, but please bear with me. It's important.

In the 1960s and early to mid 1970s, black people were strong, united, hard-working and a hellified force to be reckoned with. People were afraid of our power, so much that task forces were established by J. Edgar Hoover with the specific goal of investigating leaders like Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr. and powerful black groups like the Black Panthers.

Black people loved each other and loudly sang out "I'm Black and I'm PROUD!" Not caring who heard it.

Then came crack in the mid 1970s. It was cheap and it made you a whole lot of cash to buy your cars, jewels and women. Yay for you. But what about for us?

Take a look at the legacy you've left behind due to your greed and ignorance:

  • YOU are the reason why black crack babies who are grown up now (20s and 30s) are terrorizing the community and have no direction. Thanks a lot.

  • YOU are the reason why young black men want to grow up and become either 1) ball player or 2) crack slanger. You're the cause of why they don't realize that they have a brain that's good for more than passing a ball or bag of crack. Thanks a lot.

  • YOU are the reason why many black men don't have jobs. Felonious charges that haunt them for years, sometimes as much as a decade or more, prevent them from getting that wonderful position because they were influenced by YOU and your bullshhht when they were young. Now, even when they try to go straight they're hit with wall after wall. Thanks a lot original OG crack dealer.

  • YOU are the cause of why black rap music has debased the fabric of not only the black community, but America as a whole. Black rappers have absolutely no regard for the message they put out for youngsters to hear (slang dope and disrespect women) because of you and your influence. Thanks a lot.

  • YOU are the reason why people get shot in the hood, and nobody says a damned thing. Because you taught them not to snitch—just another way of keeping black people down in "their place." Thanks a lot.

  • YOU are the reason for the growth of welfare mentality in poorer black communities. You're why some young black girls in the hood coming up are influenced to believe that having a baby at 15 is their ticket to free money and living. Thanks a lot.

  • YOU are the reason why some black females in the hood in their 20s and 30s think that getting their dope dealer BF to buy them designer clothes is a sign that they've really made it in this world. Thanks crack slanger.

  • YOU are the reason why some younger black males don't know ANYTHING about their history, and gladly behave like the Uncle Toms of old upholding non-black females over their own women. Thanks a lot for helping to populate the community with more new school Uncle Toms in 2010 and beyond.

  • YOU are the reason why many young black women are now losing their loyalty to black men and "dating out" out of necessity. What choice do they have at this point with so many Uncle Toms abounding? It's either that, be disrespected, or be alone. More division in the community—thanks OG crack dealer.

  • YOU are the reason why a Jay Z (former drug dealer who seems proud of his past) and Beyonce (oversexualized caricature with a bad message for young girls) are upheld in some corridors of the black community instead of a Barack and Michelle—two educated folks who did the right thing all of their lives. Thanks a lot for that one.

  • YOU are the reason why people of all races actually believe that the average black woman is a lowly, ghetto welfare queen, even though the majority of black women are hard-working, educated, and successful. In fact, black women make more than their white counterparts.  But thanks crack slanger, you are the cause of that widespread misconception.

I could go on an on down the list of how you are the source of all of the ills of the black community. I know that the majority of you are either dead, in jail, living on the streets, or trying to get a major motion picture made in your name ala American Gangster now, but I still feel it's important for us to lay the blame where it truly lies—squarely in the lap of the black men (and a few women) who promoted the proliferation of drugs into black communities after the civil rights movement.

Don't you see it was all a plan to weaken blacks after that ultra-powerful time for African Americans? And it worked swimmingly.  

And don't you see that in 2010, that plan is still in motion? The media is the source of the attack now, mostly on black women because they know that black women are the last source of strength and perseverance in the black community. Disagree with me all you want, but just think about that for a moment.

Many black people love to play the blame game. We blame black men for not stepping up more in the community. We blame black women for raising future drug dealers and lacking males.

But in truth, the fault can easily be traced back to you, original crack dealer. Your greed and ignorance is the main cause of why too many black men don't have any sense or direction and black women are left alone to struggle for the community themselves. This solves the mystery—you (and that ever-strong compulsion to "go for self") are the problem. THANKS A WHOLE LOT.

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Guess what America? Positive, classy black women on TV equal high ratings. What Chilli Wants, Basketball Wives, and Family Business Brandy and Ray J ratings.

Narrow minded TV executives are now eating crow after a new crop of black television shows depicting black women in a positive light are doing very well in ratings.

These are the latest ratings numbers from three new VH1 shows depicting positive, classy black women in a positive light:

Premiere Night:
What Chilli Wants 1.6 million viewers
Basketball Wives 1.6 million total viewers
Family Business Brandy and Ray J 1.5 million viewers
(source: TVbythenumbers )

Latest stats as of May 11:
What Chilli Wants 1.301 million viewers
Basketball Wives 1.234 million total viewers
Family Business Brandy and Ray J 962 million viewers
(source: TVbythenumbers )

These are the highest rated shows on VH1 right now (Tough Love Couples barely broke 800,000). Let's Talk About Pep also did very well in ratings last season.

So I guess violent, oversexed black women ala Flavor of Love aren't the only types people want to see on television after all VH1? 

Taking this ratings cue, VH1 has decided to start a black female version of Sex and the City featuring Stacy Dash, Lauren London, and Lisa Raye.

This is the same feeling I got when Pantene finally realized that black women spend up to SIX times more than other cultures on hair products.

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List updated 8/2012
  1. Do not front on your friends. Men come and tend to go—true girlfriends stay true for the long haul. So when you find a new man, don't front on your girlfriends who were riding with you through the ups and downs of single life. If you make plans to go out with your girls, don't break them just because your new boo calls you up for a date at the last minute.
  2. Care about your appearance. Not for others' sake, but for YOURSELF. How you present yourself to the universe does have an effect on how you feel about yourself. Hold your head high and strut!
  3. Educate yourself. A truly classy black lady is knowledgeable on a variety of subjects and aware of recent news. Read a non-fiction or "how to" book that will teach you something new regularly. Visit informational websites and read articles written by experts. Mix some CNN into your TV schedule along with your reality shows.
  4. Do not play "Capn save em" with every man you meet. This has been one of my own personal vices in the past. While it's always best to be a sister and support to the men in your life, you are not personally responsible for the success of a grown man. If he messes up, that's his fault and his problem to resolve—not yours. Allow a man to be a man and figure things out on his own—nine times out of 10 that's exactly what he'll do.
  5. Avoid being loud and rowdy in public. I don't care how mad you get while you're out and about. A classy black lady does not get loud, violent, or ghetto in public. If you're having a disagreement with a friend while out in public, you pull the person aside to a private place before stating your piece.
  6. Get your "houses" in order. How can you call yourself a classy black lady if your home is a mess? Don't be "nice nasty." Your home is your castle—make sure that you keep it clean, tidy, and well organized. This commandment also applies to your personal "house" meaning your body (tying into #2). Treat it like a temple—eat healthy, exercise and stay fit, and protect yourself when being intimate. Take care of your teeth, hair, and skin. As Jim Rohn said, "Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live."
  7. Don't let money control you, you control the money. Love of money (greed) is the root of all evil. Buying expensive material items is not going to fulfill your life—let's get that straight off the bat. However, if you choose to spend money do it in a way that keeps you in complete control of your finances.
  8. Save for your future. A smart and classy black lady knows the importance of saving money toward her future. Forget all those bogus and suspect reports about the net wealth of black women—you know your own situation and you know what you have to do to save for your future. Put money away in a safe place, like a CD or IRA account. 
  9. Experience and respect different cultures. As a classy black lady don't hesitate to expand your mind by experiencing and showing respect to other cultures. Travel and visit new places. Don't be afraid to make friends with people from different cultures or even date outside of your circle. Try new foods and activities that you wouldn't normally partake in. Cultural awareness is an important step to becoming a complete and well-rounded lady.
  10. Love and appreciate your black sisters. Take a serious look around at your mothers, your sisters, your aunties, your sorority sisters, and your friends. Look at how they sacrifice for you and the other people in your life. Love and appreciate other black women for their strength, caring hearts, and beauty. We are a resilient group of women who despite being beaten down continue to rise up. Learn from the black women around you and continue to strive for excellence in your own life.

If you think I missed an important commandment that every classy black lady should follow, let me know in the comments area below!

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To grow black hair long you have to modify your daily habits. The process of growing afro hair is 90% about your method and 10% about the shampoos and conditioners you buy. As black ladies, we spend hundreds buying up pricey beauty products simply because some stranger on the Internet said it was the secret to grow black hair long. But here's the truth: the products you choose matter only a little. It's the way you treat your hair that matters the most if you want to grow black hair long. This article is the REAL DEAL. No need to buy books or scour the various websites for different methods. Just try this step by step process for growing black hair past the shoulders to the tee for at least two months. Then come back to this blog and let me know your results.

1. Get the right products to grow black hair long :

- Moisturizing shampoo and conditioner (like Pantene Relaxed and Natural)
- A good deep conditioner (like Mizani)
- Wide tooth comb & fine tooth comb
- Ceramic flat iron
- Chi Silk Infusion
- Chi IronGuard thermal hair protector spray
- Keracare conditioning hair crème
- Keracare hair sheen spray

Listen, as I said earlier the products matter only a little. You can use what you want as long as it's a comparable quality product to what I've suggested above. As you can see I have a personal preference for Chi and Keracare products but you can use any you'd like to grow black hair long.

2. Do you know why some black women's hair breaks off around the shoulders? What about why some black ladies can't seem to grow black hair long despite substantial new growth between relaxers. It's because strands of black hair are more delicate (especially when relaxed) It's also because we let our hair rub up against the harsh fabrics we wear. The reasons why it's sometimes hard to grow black hair long are pretty simple and logical. Read more about how the clothes we wear affects our hair here.

3. Wash black hair every 4 to 5 days to grow black hair long. There are no exceptions to this rule, you must wash your hair. Lather your hair while standing in the shower and make sure you do it the right way: 1) push all of your hair down straight to the back when you're washing 2) run your fingertips through your hair to remove all the buildup on your scalp 3) rinse and repeat the shampoo once or twice but don't overdo it 4) don't rub black hair all over your head like you see in the movies. The way you wash your hair is key to learning how to grow black hair long.
Keracare Conditioning Creme

4. Proper Hair Conditioning is necessary to grow black hair long. Put your conditioner in going backwards. Then use a wide tooth comb to slowly detangle your hair. Take your time with your hair--use your fingertips to untangle the strands. Do not under any circumstance "rip" any comb or brush through your hair! Careful combing and detangling is extremely important if you want to grow black hair long.  After you're finished, go back over your hair with a thin toothed comb this time. Again, do this slowly, carefully and gently from the root on down until your hair is completely detangled. Leave the conditioner on for at least 5 minutes before rinsing it out.

5. Deep conditioning is necessary to grow black hair long. Deep condition every 3 weeks when you wash. Same process as described in the previous step for conditioning except use the deep conditioning product of your choice, put on a heat cap, wrap everything up with a towel, then leave it on for a half hour before rinsing and moving onto the next step.

6. Use a paper towel to squeeze the excess moisture from your hair after washing. Avoid using a standard bath towel if your goal is to grow black hair long! Cotton bath towels are harsh on your hair.

7. Put some leave in conditioner in your hair after washing. Apply leave in conditioner--don't go overboard because you don't want to weigh down your hair--you want it light and fluffy. After that, add about a dime's worth of Chi Silk Infusion to your wet hair. The Silk Infusion helps keep your hair smooth, supple and shiny between washes and also helps you reach your main goal: to grow black hair long.

8. Roller set your hair. You can either let it air dry this way or sit under a bonnet dryer. Once your hair is completely dry, spray it with a thermal protector like Chi Ironguard (look to the left, to the left). The Iron Guard shields your hair from the intense heat of the blow dryer, curling iron, or flat iron. You need a thermal protector to help keep your strands in tact so that you can grow black hair long.

9. Flat iron your hair (optional). After blow drying out your roots, the ceramic flat iron will help straighten your hair to a silky shine. You may be pleasantly surprised at the results when you follow these steps to the tee. You can also add a light setting lotion when wet, braid your hair, and let your black hair dry curly as an alternative to the straight look. There's a Dominican hair product called Konzil (leave in lotion) that I've heard might help you get a better curly look. Remember: the less heat the better when you want to grow black hair long.

10. Spritz your hair with Keracare Oil Sheen spray (or a similar oil sheen spray for black hair) once in a while to keep it shiny and healthy. Keracare's version has a "humidity block" formula that's helpful when you're out in the hot sun.

11. Put Keracare conditioning crème hairdress on your hair ends and through your scalp every night. Not too much--just a dab on your finger. Afterwards, wrap your hair with a satin scarf before you go to sleep—wearing a satin scarf is required if you want to grow black hair long.

12. Wear protective styles (such as buns and butterfly hair clips) when your hair is in between washes. Don't allow black hair to brush on your shoulders for long periods of time. Let your hair down when you're going out for a hot date. When at home or just running around town put the hair up in a cute protective style. This simple habit will help you grow black hair long.

More Tips to Grow Black Hair Long:

Relax your hair three or four times a year. That's right, let it stretch for as long as possible. I personally like Optimum's relaxer because it has a breakage defense packet that you can put on your hair before applying the cream to new growth.

Consider buying more shirts made of satin or a satin robe to wear at home if you want your hair to hang down.

Did I say that you must wash your hair every 4 to 5 days to grow black hair long ? Regardless, it's worth repeating a thousand times over! Do not go a week or more without washing your hair--leaving dirt and oils in your hair does not promote black hair growth.

Forget what your ma, auntie or hair stylist told you in the past --do not apply heavy oils or grease to your hair if you want to grow black hair long. PERIOD. End of story.

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