List updated 8/2012
  1. Do not front on your friends. Men come and tend to go—true girlfriends stay true for the long haul. So when you find a new man, don't front on your girlfriends who were riding with you through the ups and downs of single life. If you make plans to go out with your girls, don't break them just because your new boo calls you up for a date at the last minute.
  2. Care about your appearance. Not for others' sake, but for YOURSELF. How you present yourself to the universe does have an effect on how you feel about yourself. Hold your head high and strut!
  3. Educate yourself. A truly classy black lady is knowledgeable on a variety of subjects and aware of recent news. Read a non-fiction or "how to" book that will teach you something new regularly. Visit informational websites and read articles written by experts. Mix some CNN into your TV schedule along with your reality shows.
  4. Do not play "Capn save em" with every man you meet. This has been one of my own personal vices in the past. While it's always best to be a sister and support to the men in your life, you are not personally responsible for the success of a grown man. If he messes up, that's his fault and his problem to resolve—not yours. Allow a man to be a man and figure things out on his own—nine times out of 10 that's exactly what he'll do.
  5. Avoid being loud and rowdy in public. I don't care how mad you get while you're out and about. A classy black lady does not get loud, violent, or ghetto in public. If you're having a disagreement with a friend while out in public, you pull the person aside to a private place before stating your piece.
  6. Get your "houses" in order. How can you call yourself a classy black lady if your home is a mess? Don't be "nice nasty." Your home is your castle—make sure that you keep it clean, tidy, and well organized. This commandment also applies to your personal "house" meaning your body (tying into #2). Treat it like a temple—eat healthy, exercise and stay fit, and protect yourself when being intimate. Take care of your teeth, hair, and skin. As Jim Rohn said, "Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live."
  7. Don't let money control you, you control the money. Love of money (greed) is the root of all evil. Buying expensive material items is not going to fulfill your life—let's get that straight off the bat. However, if you choose to spend money do it in a way that keeps you in complete control of your finances.
  8. Save for your future. A smart and classy black lady knows the importance of saving money toward her future. Forget all those bogus and suspect reports about the net wealth of black women—you know your own situation and you know what you have to do to save for your future. Put money away in a safe place, like a CD or IRA account. 
  9. Experience and respect different cultures. As a classy black lady don't hesitate to expand your mind by experiencing and showing respect to other cultures. Travel and visit new places. Don't be afraid to make friends with people from different cultures or even date outside of your circle. Try new foods and activities that you wouldn't normally partake in. Cultural awareness is an important step to becoming a complete and well-rounded lady.
  10. Love and appreciate your black sisters. Take a serious look around at your mothers, your sisters, your aunties, your sorority sisters, and your friends. Look at how they sacrifice for you and the other people in your life. Love and appreciate other black women for their strength, caring hearts, and beauty. We are a resilient group of women who despite being beaten down continue to rise up. Learn from the black women around you and continue to strive for excellence in your own life.

If you think I missed an important commandment that every classy black lady should follow, let me know in the comments area below!



  1. LaToya On May 2, 2010 at 6:16 AM

    Lovin your 10 commandments. Will be sending this link to some my friends.

      Lisa On June 8, 2012 at 8:01 AM

    This is incredible!I can't believe no one's commented yet. Very insightful and straightforward.Hair Care Beauty


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