I am a member of a number of listservs and groups targeted specifically to black women. One day a few weeks back I opened my mail and there was a call for black women. 

It was from a black woman who was asking for other black women to write or call in to a major news show to tell their stories of why they're single and not married.

I thought wow, is this stuff still going on? 

Question #1 Hasn't this subject been beaten to death by now? I would think the mainstream media would have something better to talk about at this point, such as more personal stories regarding the economy, the meth epidemic that is spreading through  suburban communities, or even why the marriage rate is declining across ALL races for many years now.

Why the po' black woman angle again and again?

Questions #2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 are to the black women who actually answered this call. 

2. What do you think doing that will accomplish? 

3. What will complaining about your lack of a husband do to help you or black women in general?

4. Do you think the white reporter who jots down your sad story will somehow take pity and help find you a man?

5. Do you think men everywhere will hear your sad story and come rushing to your rescue?

6. Do you think that exposing your black woman woes on a media platform largely viewed by non-blacks will somehow help the black race? How so?

7. Has airing out your problems in the mainstream media done anything to help your situation over the past four to five years since the media's obsession with all things black women began?

I don't get the logic. 

Black ladies everywhere please take this as a public service announcement. This might ruffle some feathers, but so be it. It needs to be said.

Please do not make a mockery of yourself and your fellow sisters by airing out your dirty laundry in the mainstream media while using your race as a cause for the problem. 

All the media and their viewers want to do is the equivalent of pointing and covering a smile. They push these black woman woe stories for nefarious reasons. And they always seem to have a few suckers willing to spill all the beans about why they're unwed, why they're overweight, why they wear weave hair, why they have kids -- all in a way that makes them appear to be somehow insufficient or failing as women.

How about this. Lets talk about Black Girl Problems in the Black Girl Media where it belongs. Talk about them in forums that were designed for the help and support of black women, not hinderance and ridicule.

QUICK UPDATE: Went on Twitter directly after posting this article and found this amazing piece where three black woman feminists break this issue down even further. Please listen to what they have to say -- > http://colorlines.com/archives/2011/10/black_feminisms.html



  1. STOP the Media Smear Campaign Against Black Women On November 15, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    Thank you Classy Black Lady for this well-written, and much needed post. You would think that after 3 to 4 years of an overt, racist media-driven campaign to tear down Black women in the eyes of America and the world, more of us would "get it" and stop running to the MSM, Black male comedians and every other kind of anti-Black woman hater to tell a story. That story will only be skewed and used to ridicule and demean Black women - the idea is to break us. But it can only happen if we let it. Black women MUST stop going to people who have our WORST interests in mind.

    These are scary times for Black women, but we can beat even this if we accept that our enemies are many and real, and need to be fought against or avoided at all costs.

    Thank you for continuing to speak out, even if only on a small blog.

      CB Lady On November 17, 2011 at 4:14 PM

    "STOP the Media Smear Campaign Against Black Women" .... yes, we've got to do better. We have to stop allowing ourselves to be disrespected in and by the media. No More.

    Thank you for your post.


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