Why do dark-skinned black men think it's okay to bash dark-skinned females?

This blog post, nicely penned by guest blogger Sammi Jace, is not a bash on all black men, only an indictment of those who choose to bash women who have dark skin. It needs to be addressed here because it does affect black women and girls - CBL


While browsing the Twitter hashtag #blackwomen this past week I found myself shaking my head once again.

A poster on Twitter, who ironically is a very dark-skinned black male recently decided to pass his time by throwing darts at dark-skinned black women. A selection of his anti-dark skinned female posts:

A Lighty Can Set Me Up Any day, l’ll Forgive Her. I Dare A Dark Ting To Try, I’ll Get Her Pitched
If I Was Captain Of The Titanic, We’d Let Lighties On The Life Boats 1st, Dark Skin Girls Get On After Men

When he saw the backlash coming this Twitter bully then attempted to backtrack, claiming he doesn’t have anything at all against black women with dark skin. Sure…. 

This response kind of reminds me of white people who make sideways comments about blacks then say “hey, I’ve got black friends so I can’t be racist!”

Also, if you do a search for “dark skin” on Twitter you’ll be overwhelmed with hate-posts from dark-skinned black men toward dark-skinned black females. What’s going on?

A Real Issue, Not Imagined
When you bring up issues of light versus dark, like clockwork folks try to stamp out the discussion and minimize its relevance. In fact, when I pitched this article to a couple of sites they said no thanks because they don't want to touch the "light-dark" issue. I understand, it's because the discussions can get really ugly and nothing ever really gets accomplished.

Well I think it is time we stop sweeping this issue aside and talk about it openly. When you have Twitter bullies running rampant it needs to be addressed. Dark-light issues exist just as much as black-white issues do and it is having a negative effect on the self-esteems and psyches of black girls from a very young age.

So why do brown to dark-skinned men seem more prone to putting down dark-skinned women than dark skinned females on the flip side?

Black rappers do it. Black Hollywood producers do it when they cast black movies. Black boys on social media apparently do it a lot.

But we very rarely if ever hear black women and girls turning the tables. When is the last time you heard a black female R&B singer go on and on about needing a yellow or redbone brother? Or filling up her video with white and light-skinned men only? 

If you were to scan the Twitter hashtag #blackmen it isn’t likely that you’ll see a black girl of any shade putting down dark-skinned black men just for kicks.

Not to mention if you were to talk to a group of 10 black women nine of them would probably sing the praises of a dark chocolate brother.

So what exactly causes dark black males to so openly show dismay for their darker skinned female counterparts? Is it resentment toward their dark-skinned mothers? Media influence? A deep-seeded self-hatred that began in the days of slavery and was passed down through the generations?

Or is it just a perception that dark young black women are an easy target to temporarily relieve their anger and angst?

Self-Hate is a Mutha
As a young black girl I can remember being teased for a short while for having dark brown skin. It was never by a light-skinned or white boy. It was always by very dark-skinned black boys — boys who were even more deep-toned than I was. 

One day I was finally fed up and snapped back at one bully, stating the obvious: "You’re several shades darker than me so how can you sit there and call ME blackie?"

Now some black males still seem to think this type of thing is cute or witty in 2012 and now they have a new platform (social media) to get it all out there. 

But hey it is not okay homie, not at any age whether you’re 10 or 30. It actually exposes some major issues and vulnerabilities that you have within yourself.

It’s fine if you have a personal preference for someone with a certain skin tone but by going out of your way to point it out to the women (or men) who you don’t find attractive you’re displaying weakness. A deep-seeded insecurity. Bitch-assedness if you will.

Why, dark skinned black male, do you seem to hate the skin tone that you own? Don’t you think that black is beautiful? If you genuinely do then that would apply for both men and women.

Is a Genuine New Civil Rights Movement Really Possible?
Everybody is talking about the Trayvon Martin case and how it might be sparking a new black civil rights movement. But yet and still the tendency in our community is to cat fight among ourselves instead of fighting the powers that be.

So how can we ever truly progress if we have such a thick sentiment of self-hate still coursing through our community? And it’s on full display for the world to see.

So let’s get it all out on the table black people. Do black women in general simply have a stronger sense of racial identity and pride in black skin? As you can see I asked many questions in this post and I really want answers and solutions starting today.

In the meantime, these issues are why I believe The Pretty Brown Girl movement is so important. Lift up your black daughters and prepare them with ammo for this brand of bullying. Teach them that black is beautiful, even if their male counterparts don’t realize it.

- submitted by Guest Blogger Sammi Jace


Comment

THERE ARE 13 COMMENTS FOR THIS POST

  1. CB Lady On April 11, 2012 at 8:29 PM

    FYI if you're having issues posting comments to this or any Google blog it is probably because Google now requires third party cookies to comment. You can also add blogger.com and www.blogger.com to your "allow" list. I apologize for any inconveniences.

      Anonymous On April 12, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Just like you, I was teased for being darkskinned and the culprit was always a darkskin boy, much darker than me. I didn't understand it and made me hate darkskin men.

      Anonymous On April 16, 2012 at 3:16 AM

    In school the boys always went for the light skin women, especially the really popular guys and yes most of the popular guys were really dark skin. I remember the same in the 6th grade where I went to a prep school and the little black boys chased after the little white girls (it was a predominantly white school with some black children mixed in) and ignored the little black girls. It was like they struck gold. Recently I read a comment on another site catered to black men and one guy said "I'm harder on dark skin black women" and I bet he's black as sin himself. It's so sad, I love black men dark and light but I'm beginning to resent dark skin black men with a passion. Everytime I see one I'm like "Ugh I can't stand you" even though I don't want it to be that way, I feel bad for black women of the next generation :(

      Anonymous On April 21, 2012 at 5:39 PM

    It's o vious that some very powerful brainwashing, and deep seated self hate is running rampat through the Black males in America. I'm not sure why, or what has happened to them to so wholeheartedly want to take on the role of Black Klansmen, but their racism and colorism against their own is real - and dangerous. All we can do is avoid those who have those mindsets, seek out the good, decent, self-loving and intelligent Black me among us, and concurrently put out our own stories and images showing the world that dark skin is amazing and beautiful.

    Whether the self-haters know it or not, they are only working to make their own lot in life harder by dissing their own people and color tones. sTUPID IS, AS STUPID DOES.

    BTW, just like the colorism rampant among some Black-male twitter-users, you'll find a plethora of Black woman-hating Black males on youtube as well, and they hate all bLACK WOMEN, REGARDLESS OF SKIN TONE.

    But don't let these brainwashed fools take up any extra of your valuable time - seek the good only. afterall, the classy, attractve dark skinned lady that michelle obama is proves a prime example of the kind of black women that result from self-loving Black men like her father, and of course her mother.

      Anonymous On April 21, 2012 at 5:47 PM

    oh, and by the way, dark black males who bash dark skinned women consider themselves ugly, and they project that self-hatred on whoever is closest in the community, and those are Black women.

    i actually pondered this, and wonder if the high incarceration rates among black men made this mindset take place - meaning that since they were incarcerated, were they ripe candidates for experimentation like in Tuskegee? sounds paranaoid, but why else the rampant hate that even Black women do not have? did racists government experiments take place in those jails? it could be possible. eiter way, ignore the haters. there is a world of people out here who are not as brainwashed as us, and a world of people who, suprisingly, are light years BEHIND us on this issue. So look for the decent, and avoid the rest.

      folusho On April 29, 2012 at 1:04 PM

    I'm really surprised to be reading dis coz I'm a black male in africa nd I don't seee that happening around me. To think that our brothers over there will prefer the caucasians

      Rsheppard On May 12, 2012 at 2:38 PM

    As a dark skin black man, I cannot even get a date with a black women. This notion that dark complexed black men do not date darker skin black women is a myth. Its hard as hell being discriminated against by whites but its devastating being treated the same blacks. Its something I been dealing since I was born. I do not know what to do.

      Anonymous On June 29, 2012 at 12:02 AM

    "This notion that dark complexed black men do not date darker skin black women is a myth."

    I'm sorry RSheppard, but it is not myth. I have regularly encountered GROWN men (not high school, not even undergrad) who make it regular practice to loudly and continuously degrade dark skinned women and uphold light skinned or white women.

    GROWN men who openly insult grown women. Might I add that maybe class has something to do with this phenomenon - the dark skinned black men with hatred for dark skinned black women generally drove trucks, worked "blue collar" jobs instead of being in the professions the hood types. Not sure if this is common across America (class-wise), but definitely true in my experience.

      Anonymous On July 23, 2012 at 10:18 AM

    Though we are a long way physically from masssa's grip, African Americans have so far to go. In fact Blacks around the world are lagging unity, but it is my belief that it begins with my American brother and sisters to lead the way. I find it sad when several of my Africa born friends try to imitate the falsehood of Africa Americans by watching foul "hip-hop" videos or worse bleaching their skin. Sure we have come along way but we are survivors of a crushed culture and emotional turmoil. We have to change our Value system. We have been miseducated. If we cannot do this, Im afraid that slavery last in our souls.

      Anonymous On September 9, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    Being a dark skin black woman and having a few light skin girlfriends has encountered several experiences with black man and racism. When we are in the club they come to our table and chat by the end of the night they have chosen my light skin girlfriend. I have had black man to try to use me to talk to my light skin girlfriends. Another incident with one of my light skin girlfriend ... we was walking an this older dark skin black man said " here comes salt and pepper". I'm a very confident dark skin black woman but I must admit it gets to me sometimes. I have no problem in dating a dark skin man or a light skin man because I have no problem with dating. I just know that this black on black racism does exist. I even see it in my family with the younger generation. They are dating either light skin or white people. I would like to see this black on black racism be discussed farther to bring more understanding to the horrible thing that exist in our black race.

      Anonymous On October 30, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    I have never been teased for being dark, and I grew up in a time where that was more likely to happen (or so I assumed). It's the 21st Century and this light/dark bullsh*t is still going on, which is insane.

      nupe On November 2, 2012 at 11:29 AM

    look, dark skin men have issues, deep seated issues that they need to work on, they come with a lot of baggage. a lot of times they are popular, what else do they have to do, they hate their "inner ugliness' and become a popular figure to counter that

      Anonymous On December 18, 2012 at 7:30 PM

    I am in college and I have also had to deal with this issue being a dark skinned female. I happen to think im beautiful but I also get the jokes like "if you turn out the lights if she would be gone " :/ but I also feel like all people aren't the same. If we hold this grudge against dark skin men, then we're no better than our tormentors. This topic was a more undercover subject but now a lot more people are talking about it. I just wait for the guy that's gonna love me for me and not my skin color. :D

     

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