Is singing the praises of white men a solution for black women, or a major distraction from the basic ideals of black woman empowerment?

As I've mentioned on many occasions, I am an avid social media observer. One of the many trends I've noticed is of young black girls and grown women expressing their undying love for white men (who some often refer to as "white boys") online.

In some cases I would definitely equate it to outright worship, and after much thought, I think it is counterproductive. Whenever you worship something or someone who is just a fellow human being, something is off. These young women seem to think that loudly singing the praises of anonymous white men online will somehow improve their love lives.

While I agree that the relations between black women and black men are severely lacking and desperately in need of repair, I must chime in and post that from an empowerment standpoint, worshiping white men (or any color of man) as the saviors to black women is hardly the answer.

Publicly worshiping any man of any color and putting him on a pedestal is just not a good thing -- especially if you still have issues with self-love and self-acceptance.

About Men 

Men are men. They all have similar goals (sex, comfort, eventual peace of mind, among other goals) they just go about achieving those things in different ways. Some men choose to show respect to women from the start and give them what they want in order to have a comfortable life (the smart ones). Others choose to play the field well into their 40s or 50s until their options have run out and then scramble to find a decent non-gold-digging woman to take care of them (good luck with that!). Others just give up on women, opting to abuse, cheat on and mistreat them for life until they wither away, alone and bitter.

One thing is for certain -- these various types of men exist in every race. But again, they just might go about achieving these various goals in different ways.

The key to finding love is attracting the RIGHT type of guy in your life, regardless of his skin tone. He may wine and dine you at first or tell you everything that you want to hear, but if his ultimate goal is impure there is a problem there.

Desperation
A few young black girls and women seem to have become so desperate for attention from men that they will latch onto anyone that shows black women attention. From my observations, many white men suddenly seem very interested in having a black woman in their lives. But as it is with any type of man, you need to be aware of their real intentions and motivations -- are they honorable or based on wanting a girl with a "big booty."


Towards Empowerment and Self-Love
The title of this blog post may raise some eyebrows, but maybe they need to be raised sooner rather than later. The main point of this post is to boldly state that "white boy worship" is not a smart idea. If you happen to find a white man who loves you wholly, honestly and purely then hold on tight. Get married, have babies and enjoy every bit of that love that comes your way! But don't give every anonymous white guy who has a sudden taste for black women the idea that you are now dependent on their love, attention and acceptance. If you do, you are setting yourself up to be used, taken for granted and disappointed as is the case with any man of any color.

The other point of this post: learn how to love yourself before you attempt to love anyone else.


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Many young people tweet all of their waking hours -- could this obsessive activity be holding them back from achievement?

As a self-proclaimed social media observer, I spend about an hour of my day searching social media sites for trends, interesting topics and conversations. In other words I'm a proud "Twatcher" (hey, if you don't want the public to know what you're tweeting about you shouldn't be publicly tweeting!)

While twatching I frequently find myself right in the middle of what they call #BlackTwitter .

On Black Twitter you can see all types of personalities, from the wannabe online comedians who would say just about anything for a LOL, to young women squeezing their boobs together to see how many compliments and retweets they can get. Of course you have the bloggers and social media gurus who are putting out good information and having important discussions, but their representation on Black Twitter is less conspicuous.

The first thing I've observed is that these tweeters, mostly young people under 25, are putting all of their business out on Front Street for the world to see. It's like a train wreck. If anyone ever wanted a view into the dysfunction in the black community USA, all they would have to do is pull up a chair and visit the Black Twitter hashtag (and I'm sure they already do).

But even more important than what others think of blacks is the the second thing I've observed: a lot of black twitterers tweet ALL DAY LONG. ALL... DAY... LONG. They tweet when they wake up, brush their teeth (twitpic the toothpaste), eat breakfast (twitpic the eggs), get into an argument with a family member, joke on other twitterers, eat lunch, drive in the car (twitpic the street sign on their favorite corner), eat dinner, watch a show on tv, eat a late night snack (twitpic), right up until they lay their head on the pillow and go to sleep. They probably are updating in their dreams too!


Some even tweet about their adventures in the club, WHILE in the club:
"Just took a shot... I can feel the liquid dripping down my throat!"
"Somebody fightin' (TWITPIC/VINE)!
"Ew this girl is ugly, I'm still gonna feel on her booty tho!"
 

Yes, it's gotten to the point where some can't even enjoy other people in real life without tweeting or Facebooking about it.

These young people also may not realize that their social media tweets are being archived in Library of Congress records forever, which means that when they're 40 years old and trying to find employment their prospective boss may still be able to find the Twitpic they took of their face pushed up next to their boobs or the joke they posted about how black women "don't deserve no respect" (good luck explaining that to the black lady who works in human resources!).

Ask Yourself Some Questions 

YES! I realize this blog post is a bit judgy, but my purpose is not to shame people for their tweeting habits -- Twitter is a great networking tool and it's each person's business how they choose to use it. 

I'm posting this topic to hopefully snap some bright young person out of it before she or he literally gets sucked into the matrix.

Questions to Ask Yourself:
1) Is Twitter making you any money? The only way I could justify making 100+ tweets each day is if I were getting paid to do so!

2) Do you want more out of life? A better job, more pay, to start a business or to pursue your art? What are you passionate about?

3) How can you be effectively pursuing your dreams or goals if the very first thought you have every day is what you're going to tweet about?

4) How can you fit much else into your life if you spend every hour of your day, EVERY day, tweeting or Facebooking? Time is our most valuable asset.

5) When was the last time you read a book or listened to an audio book about how to motivate yourself, achieve your dreams or become a more enlightened person?

This post may ruffle some feathers, but that's OK. I think it's worth talking about if the progress of much of the young black community is at stake. Social media is amazing, I love it, but it can also be an addictive distraction that takes people off their path in life.

I'm off my soap box, but I think it's important for parents/influencers of young people (millenials and teens) to talk to them about these things. It may seem like simple innocent fun now, but in the long term what will Twitter or Facebook do for these young people?

Question for the comments: what does the future of the average chronic Tweeter look like?



Love,
Tabby


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