Is singing the praises of white men a solution for black women, or a major distraction from the basic ideals of black woman empowerment?

As I've mentioned on many occasions, I am an avid social media observer. One of the many trends I've noticed is of young black girls and grown women expressing their undying love for white men (who some often refer to as "white boys") online.

In some cases I would definitely equate it to outright worship, and after much thought, I think it is counterproductive. Whenever you worship something or someone who is just a fellow human being, something is off. These young women seem to think that loudly singing the praises of anonymous white men online will somehow improve their love lives.

While I agree that the relations between black women and black men are severely lacking and desperately in need of repair, I must chime in and post that from an empowerment standpoint, worshiping white men (or any color of man) as the saviors to black women is hardly the answer.

Publicly worshiping any man of any color and putting him on a pedestal is just not a good thing -- especially if you still have issues with self-love and self-acceptance.

About Men 

Men are men. They all have similar goals (sex, comfort, eventual peace of mind, among other goals) they just go about achieving those things in different ways. Some men choose to show respect to women from the start and give them what they want in order to have a comfortable life (the smart ones). Others choose to play the field well into their 40s or 50s until their options have run out and then scramble to find a decent non-gold-digging woman to take care of them (good luck with that!). Others just give up on women, opting to abuse, cheat on and mistreat them for life until they wither away, alone and bitter.

One thing is for certain -- these various types of men exist in every race. But again, they just might go about achieving these various goals in different ways.

The key to finding love is attracting the RIGHT type of guy in your life, regardless of his skin tone. He may wine and dine you at first or tell you everything that you want to hear, but if his ultimate goal is impure there is a problem there.

A few young black girls and women seem to have become so desperate for attention from men that they will latch onto anyone that shows black women attention. From my observations, many white men suddenly seem very interested in having a black woman in their lives. But as it is with any type of man, you need to be aware of their real intentions and motivations -- are they honorable or based on wanting a girl with a "big booty."

Towards Empowerment and Self-Love
The title of this blog post may raise some eyebrows, but maybe they need to be raised sooner rather than later. The main point of this post is to boldly state that "white boy worship" is not a smart idea. If you happen to find a white man who loves you wholly, honestly and purely then hold on tight. Get married, have babies and enjoy every bit of that love that comes your way! But don't give every anonymous white guy who has a sudden taste for black women the idea that you are now dependent on their love, attention and acceptance. If you do, you are setting yourself up to be used, taken for granted and disappointed as is the case with any man of any color.

The other point of this post: learn how to love yourself before you attempt to love anyone else.



  1. Shamontiel On August 16, 2013 at 11:01 AM

    I pay it no mind. There are too many women who are hanging on to the every word of men who do not find them their type. If these same sistas are running into white men who love and adore them, I say go for it. We'll get on comment boards and gush about how sexy a black man looks in a magazine or how much we just LOVE a celebrity, etc. I don't feel that's any different than gushing over dating white women. I read a tweet yesterday from an ex (I'm black and he's black) stating he had a weakness for Latina women. Stung for a second because I'm thinking, "Wow, so you just completely gave up on sistas, huh?" But then it hit me that he has a right to be into whomever he wants to be into and it's really none of my business who his type is. Worrying about someone else's type in a relationship more than paying attention to my own relationship status does me not a bit of good.

      Shaylah On September 28, 2013 at 10:26 AM

    I agree. These same White and Hispanic and Asian men were sitting on the side lines while we were being thrown under the bus. Love yourself and then you can tell if they want us for us or for some type of show.


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