Classy Black Lady | Newsworthy Issues and Updates

Classy Black Lady Tribute to Whitney Houston: Thank You

2012-02-11T21:25:00.000-08:00

Whitney Elizabeth Houston, August 9, 1963 – February 11, 2012.

I felt strongly compelled to write a blog post after hearing that one of my favorite childhood celebrity role models, Whitney Houston, had passed.

Yes, role model. I said it. I admit it. I wanted to be like the younger Ms. Houston. She was an elegant, beautiful and talented black woman who I absolutely adored. After I first listened to her sing the Greatest Love of All, I was hooked.

I still remember taking a deep breath in preparation for holding out that last note:

“Find your strength in love………………………..”

Her voice gave me chills down my spine and goosebumps up my arms. To this day I still can’t put anyone above Whitney Houston in the vocal category.

I followed all of her videos. That was “back in the day” when Twitter and YouTube didn’t exist. We watched videos on television, MTV and weekend or late night video shows. She also performed the national anthem (The Star Spangled Banner) at Super Bowl 1991, which blew everyone away. See it here:

Though Whitney had her challenges later in life, she was an inspiration to many young girls like me when she first hit the scene. She was a wholesome yet fun lady to watch whether performing on stage or in a movie. (Do you remember The Preacher's Wife?) I would go so far to say that I followed Ms. Houston so much that she played a role in my becoming the classy black woman that I am today.

When I think about what young girls of today have available to look up to as far as musicians and entertainers in the mainstream media, I am very very thankful for Whitney. And anyone who says that the way musicians, actors, public figures and other entertainers carry themselves don’t affect how some kids turn out just doesn’t want to hear the truth.

I won’t say much else here. Just that I love you and thank you Ms. Whitney Houston.

Check out some of my favorite Whitney videos:

Okay, You’re Not Black… And?

2012-02-11T03:22:00.000-08:00

You Say You're Not Black... Who Said You Were?

While browsing around in the blogosphere recently, I came across an article by a Dominican woman who felt the need to proclaim that she was not black. She identifies as Latina/Asian and that is that.

My question to her, and others who think like her, is this… who’s to say the black American community would accept you in the first place?

There seems to be this idea in the minds of some non-blacks that black people are desperate to “claim” people who are not explicitly or clearly black. Such as Latinos and those mixed with many different races. Not so.

A few confused black people, maybe. But the majority of us, nope.

Being black is an experience. It's a constant struggle. It comes with many ups and downs. We suffer many injustices, but yet we still keep our humor. We are so innovative and dynamic to the point where young kids across the world in Japan strive to look black and emulate black culture.

When blacks do get television shows and media attention, we dominate the airwaves and magazines. When we do decide to come together and fight for something, whoa.... watch out.

Our ancestors not only survived the slave trade but many of them also went out there and fought for our civil rights. Many non-black minorities came in after most of the struggle was over. They benefited from the freedoms that blacks (and some progressive whites) fought for. Many other minority groups came into this country after all was said and done.

We’re the originators of many things in this country, and have helped America become what it is today. In fact, if not for African-Americans who slaved and fought for this country, I doubt the U.S. would have been strong or monied enough to win the many wars it did on its way to its current status as a world power.

So why again do people like this woman believe that regal black Americans would want to somehow “adopt” her into this royal heritage based on her skin tone alone?

Being black in America is something that you earn, not something that you’re granted. You don’t just skate on in because you have browned skin.

Bottomline to those who vehemently want to separate themselves from black culture: no, you’re not black. Proud black folks know the deal. Please carry on with your lives, whatever you identify with.

Keke Palmer, I Love You Girl

2012-02-02T19:55:00.000-08:00

After peeking into the trash can among the dregs of the hip hop culture yesterday, I feel the need to dust off my shoulders and cleanse myself with some positive news in black lady land.

Keke Palmer. You know her, that cute, bubbly young motivated sister who managed to become one of the first young black girls to get her own show on Nickelodeon, True Jackson. She was also honored at last year’s Black Girls Rock awards.

Keke Palmer

Well I feel a post about this sweet young classy black lady is well overdue.

Keke was recently twittering about some very serious matters that are affecting teens nationwide, namely suicide.

In the past couple of months alone, there have been multiple teen suicides due to bullying. Young ignorant kids who are angry and miserable themselves have taken to cyber-bullying youngster who they, for some reason, think are “lesser” than them.

A young girl named Ashley Duncan, 17, was the latest case of a teen who was incessantly bullied and decided that the best way out of her misery was to just shoot herself dead.

Keke opened up and tweeted about how drug use can cause teens to make these very poor decisions. Ashley was reportedly using ecstasy at the time of her death. Ms. Palmer highlighted that drugs like ecstasy have been linked to depression.

Keke also talked about her own struggles with self-esteem in the past:

I think I'm BEAUTIFUL! I didn't start feeling that way completely until I liked the person on the INSIDE, and that's real.

What’s really beautiful is that a girl at her young age would get that. Some women in their 30s and 40s don’t fully like the person that’s on the inside yet. It took me until my late twenties to finally start truly loving who I am as an individual. Now, seriously, anyone who doesn’t like me or who I am or what I have to say can go kick rocks as far as I’m concerned.

But teenagers aren’t as fortunate to have that type of confidence. This is another reason why I started ClassyBlackLady.com. This is why I work to encourage and uplift young girls.

So there we have it folks: a lovely black female role model for young girls of all races. She understands the importance of advising and empowering those who are troubled instead of adding to the problems of our society.

Thank you so much Ms. Palmer, keep doing what you’re doing.

Check Out Keke’s video The One You Call

BET Bans Nicki Minaj Stupid Hoe Video: Now That Deserves a Thumbs Up

2012-02-01T18:34:00.000-08:00

BET Bans Nicki Minaj Stupid Hoe Video and ClassyBlackLady.com is in full support of that decision.

I have to immediately give props to BET for setting their foot down and banning Nicki Minaj’s Stupid Hoe video. In the past I've written off Minaj as a nuisance, like a fly that needs to be swatted, and ignored her antics but she's a habitual line-stepper. It's got to be addressed.

Before I wrote this post, I decided to watch the video on Youtube to give it a fair judgment.

It was very painful to watch. 2/3rds of the people who watched and voted gave it a big thumbs down.

It's no wonder why. In the video she works very hard to be over the top like Lady Gaga. But unlike Lady Gaga, she’s not about empowering anybody through her lyrics.

Throughout the video she just calls another woman (basically representing all women who don’t like her I guess) a “stupid hoe” over and over again. How delightful.

Is This a Song?

No, it’s not. It’s just a flat out attack on women… and this time unfortunately it’s launched by a female.

You would think in this day and age Minaj would rather use her position of fame to uplift and empower women and girls (particularly black girls) to do positive things.

Nope. She’d rather just shoot for becoming the female version of Lil Wayne, the same guy who said black women would look better “red” as in very light skinned.

Out for "Delf"

Ironically, earlier today I was watching the Tupac documentaries. I don’t like a lot of Pac’s language in his songs but I do respect the fact that he tried to make positive changes in the black community.

In one of the documentaries he explained why he calls some females bitches in his songs and distinguished them from the everyday women in his life who are strong and beautiful. He basically explained that the “bitches” and “hos” he raps about are only out for what they can get for themselves and don’t care about anything or anyone else.

I’ve never bought this argument from rappers ("well, if you’re not a bitch or a ho it doesn’t apply to you...blah blah") and still think it’s flat out disrespectful to women in general to use that language in a song.

But watching Nicki Minaj in action in this video, I do understand more what he meant now about the selfish, trifling females out there that give all women a bad name.

Nicki Minaj is the perfect example of the reason why I created the Classy Black Lady blog in the first place. I imagine a lot of black woman empowerment blog mistresses might agree.

She’s a female who is only out for “delf.” She was created from the bottom up (pun intended) by the sexist rap culture that is and has always been dominated by males. She does whatever's necessary to make her money and stay famous. She's chosen to go along with the same program that has attempted to keep millions of women, black women in particular, down in their “place.”

And this isn’t the first time Nicki Minaj has attacked women.

About a year ago she put a song out called “Did It On Em” where she referred to black girls as “nappy headed hos.” A few people made some noise about it, but she got a pass on that nonsense.

A few months ago I tweeted about how in Drake’s somewhat uplifting song “Make Me Proud” she was the one who had to come on the song and refer to a woman as a ho.

So with this post and after viewing “Stupid Hoe,” I’m gonna go ahead and add Nicki Minaj to my Just Say No to Rap That Disrespects Black Women campaign.

Please black ladies, don’t allow yourself to be brainwashed with the glitz and glitter of a catchy beat, colorful costume and Hollywood BS. Keep your $$ in your pocket until a more empowering woman rapper hits the scene. And please don’t let your daughters idolize this sad and very confused female. Maybe one day she’ll wake up too, but let's not hold our breath.

Go See the Red Tails Movie: Give Hollywood Racism a SLAP

2012-01-21T14:25:00.000-08:00

Hollywood turned its back on Red Tails, the new movie that tells the story of the Tuskegee airmen. Please give racist Hollywood execs the SLAP they sorely need by going out to support the film.

Red Tails movie officially hit theaters yesterday. This movie has an all-black cast (at least the major roles) -- a rarity in hollywood for an action film. It tells the story of the heroic black Tuskegee Airmen. These men bravely went where other pilots would not and helped American win World World 2.

George Lucas, the movie’s producer, had to fund this film out of his own pocket to the tune of $60 million. All because as he confirmed recently, Hollywood investors turned him down time and again. They basically told him that they don’t know what to do with an all black cast.

Now doesn’t that just burn your biscuits?

The Tuskegee Airmen

Hollywood execs will invest in the umpteenth movie about a bland white woman who meets a bland white man and lives happily ever after, but won’t fund a film that documents a key historical moment.

Not to mention, Americans could use a patriotic movie these days – not another Disney animated flick. Don’t ya think?

Ironically, Hollywood execs have been wondering why they’re sufferiing pitiful box office figures lately. They’ve tried to blame this on the theft of movies (bootlegs, etc).

No Hollywood, don’t blame it on piracy, blame it on the stupid meaningless trite movies you make year in and out! Give people something that they actually want to see and they just might pull money out of their wallets.

Now when I ask that black people go out to support this movie, I don’t just mean black ladies. Too often it is black women who go out and support important black films like this one with their movie dollars. Black men please also step up and support this movie as well. Bring your kids. Don’t download it – go to the theater or purchase it on your cable television (if available).

With the support of the black community we can help make this film a blockbuster and prove all of those Hollywood racists wrong. An all black cast in a movie is a box office draw and we need to see more positive black faces on the silver screen.

How much do you want to bet that if this movie is a success Hollywood will come out and try to claim some credit or dispute Lucas' claims of the constant snubs he received?

Go see Red Tails and slap Hollywood racism down to the ground where it belongs. The world is ready and waiting for more films that aren’t whitewashed or continually showing American blacks in a stereotypical light.

Beyonce Skin Lightening Accusation? Some Blacks Are White Supremacists

2012-01-17T13:51:00.000-08:00

By buying into the “white is right” mentality, some blacks are playing the role of white supremacists.

So Beyonce is back in the news with another accusation of skin lightening for her upcoming album cover.

Now I don’t know if she has bleached her skin Michael Jackson or Sammy Sosa style, used extra-light foundation or it’s just the lighting of the photo shoot, but regardless of the process that was used she looks like a blonde-haired white woman.

The problem I see with this is that when black women condone this type of thing they misrepresent black women as a whole. By lightening your skin or attempting to look more white you’re giving a big slap to people of African descent.

Now I’ve read people justify skin lightening with the comment that white people tan their skin, so what’s so wrong with it?

Well the same way that blacks are slapping their ancestors by attempting to look more white, whites are doing the same to their people by trying to look more black. It’s not okay either way. It's trying to be something that you're not.

Some Blacks are White Supremacists

I think it’s sad and disgusting when blacks sell out to the idea of “white is right.” And it permeates throughout the psyches of our young people.

I had the displeasure of reading a sampling from a light skin, dark skin war on Twitter. One of the top tweets was a disparaging remark about dark-skinned girls.

Team dark skinned and team light skinned? Really, young people?

Listen, you’re team BLACK and your parents should be telling you that. Whites have been trying for centuries to keep black people divided, and you’re just helping them out! You should just go ahead and join the Klan because you’re acting just like a white supremacist when you put down dark-skinned people.

The original man and woman were a pair of dark-skinned black people in sub-saharan Africa. All colors and variations of people came from them. Educate yourself, watch The Human Family Tree on Netflix.

Brown and Dark-Skinned Black Girls, You’re Beautiful

Melanin is a blessing --
the more the better!

Before I get too wound up here, let me get to the main reason why I wrote this post. It was not to lambast Beyonce or any other celebrity who has chosen to take on more Eurocentric features in order to be accepted by mainstream America. That’s their choice and one of the main reasons why I just can’t support many mainstream artists. They’re sold to the highest bidder.

I wrote this post to specifically tell brown and dark skinned girls everywhere that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and don’t let anyone ever tell you any different! You do not have to look white in order to be a gorgeous human being.

You were blessed with extra melanin in your skin which will increase the chances that you’ll still look 25 when you’re 45 without plastic surgery (think Cynthia Bailey and Iman). Thank God for that!

I know it’s hard, but do your best to ignore the mainstream media. Media outlets have been brainwashing the masses with messages that make them insecure about their beauty for decades (and they will pay for it).

Put down those magazines with whites and white-washed blacks splashed across the cover and pick up a book that will enrich your mind and give you ammo when you’re faced with a hater —

Examples:

Black Love Is a Revolutionary Act

Brainwashed: Challenging the Myth of Black Inferiority

Selected Writings and Speeches of Marcus Garvey, who was very authentically pro-black.

I haven't seen the Dark Girls Documentary yet, but maybe that will help too.

Parents if you’re reading this and you have a child who may be struggling with skin color issues, PLEASE get her something that will empower her with information and give her more confidence going forward.

Let your lovely light shine young beautiful black girls. I love you!

Black Women Please Stop Running to the Mainstream Media

2011-10-31T19:50:00.000-07:00

I am a member of a number of listservs and groups targeted specifically to black women. One day a few weeks back I opened my mail and there was a call for black women.

It was from a black woman who was asking for other black women to write or call in to a major news show to tell their stories of why they're single and not married.

I thought wow, is this stuff still going on?

Question #1 Hasn't this subject been beaten to death by now? I would think the mainstream media would have something better to talk about at this point, such as more personal stories regarding the economy, the meth epidemic that is spreading through suburban communities, or even why the marriage rate is declining across ALL races for many years now.

Why the po' black woman angle again and again?

Questions #2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 are to the black women who actually answered this call.

2. What do you think doing that will accomplish?

3. What will complaining about your lack of a husband do to help you or black women in general?

4. Do you think the white reporter who jots down your sad story will somehow take pity and help find you a man?

5. Do you think men everywhere will hear your sad story and come rushing to your rescue?

6. Do you think that exposing your black woman woes on a media platform largely viewed by non-blacks will somehow help the black race? How so?

7. Has airing out your problems in the mainstream media done anything to help your situation over the past four to five years since the media's obsession with all things black women began?

I don't get the logic.

Black ladies everywhere please take this as a public service announcement. This might ruffle some feathers, but so be it. It needs to be said.

Please do not make a mockery of yourself and your fellow sisters by airing out your dirty laundry in the mainstream media while using your race as a cause for the problem.

All the media and their viewers want to do is the equivalent of pointing and covering a smile. They push these black woman woe stories for nefarious reasons. And they always seem to have a few suckers willing to spill all the beans about why they're unwed, why they're overweight, why they wear weave hair, why they have kids -- all in a way that makes them appear to be somehow insufficient or failing as women.

How about this. Lets talk about Black Girl Problems in the Black Girl Media where it belongs. Talk about them in forums that were designed for the help and support of black women, not hinderance and ridicule.

QUICK UPDATE: Went on Twitter directly after posting this article and found this amazing piece where three black woman feminists break this issue down even further. Please listen to what they have to say -- > http://colorlines.com/archives/2011/10/black_feminisms.html

The Rap Recipe – A Formula for Making a Modern Rap Song

2011-06-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

A 7-step recipe for becoming a modern day black rapper.

If you want to be a successful black rapper today, the rules of the game have changed a bit. There’s a new rap recipe — a formula to follow. If you manage to get a deal, your bosses will probably hip you to it. But if you’re so eager to become a modern day minstrel show… I mean black rap star that you want to learn the rap recipe now, print it out and be certain to follow it to the letter.

1. Start with a Base of Bass

We all know that rap isn’t so much about substance anymore as it is about a banging bass line. So save up your money and spend thousands on a producer to create beats that will completely drown out your lack of talent. The more banging the bass of the beat the better -- it’s guaranteed a hit even if as Jim Jones’ girlfriend Chrissy said “the only time you should be rapping is at Christmastime.” Use Souljah Boy, Gucci Mane, Kreayshawn, Plies, Young Joc and Birdman as a point of reference.

2. Add One Catchy Chorus

To write a proper rap song you absolutely must include one simple-minded and pointless chorus. The chorus doesn’t even have to make sense or relate to the song’s theme - it just has to rhyme (somewhat). In fact the more ridiculous the chorus the better. For an example see Gucci Mane (Mouth Full of Gold, Pancake and pretty much everything else he’s released).

3. Throw in a Couple of References to “Slanging”

As black rapper Jay-Z explained to Oprah, rap music is just an expression of your experiences whether they be real or imagined. So be sure to play into the stereotype of black men as drug dealing criminals, murderers and animals to create a perfectly crafted modern-day rap song. Talk about how many 8-balls and bricks you’ve accumulated. Then later you can complain about how the hip hop cops and “the man” is always trying to “keep a brother down.” If you’re a female rapper, do everything possible to live up to every negative stereotype that men have about women (i.e. gold diggers, sexpots and desperate for attention). Review Nicki Minaj and Trina’s work for an example of the latter case.

4. Sautee in a Special Dedication to White Girls, Yellow Girls or Redbones

Go out of your way to compliment light-skinned or white women. After all, why would you want to celebrate blackness under any circumstances as a black rapper? It doesn’t matter if you’re dark as midnight yourself and have a brown-skinned daughter or dark skinned family members. Show the world over just how much you hate your own dark brown or black skin and roots by praising its exact opposite in every song that you can. Create a list of everything that rhymes with yellow (mellow, hello, cello, pelo) so that you can fit the reference in smoothly as if it’s normal.

Also, let the world know how much you hold white girls and white people in general in high esteem by talking them up for at least four bars in each song. If you want to be really clever, disguise your praise of whites by pretending as if you’re really just talking about drugs. For primary examples, pull up all of Lil Wayne’s songs (Every Girl, Right Above It, Hustle Hard), Chris Brown’s part in “Look at Me Now,” Rick Ross (BMF and White Girl), Trina (White Girls) and Young Jeezy (Put On).

5. Sprinkle in 3 Girl-Like Giggles, Cackles or Forced Grunts

You know what makes a modern rap song just precious? A cute lil’ giggle. Make it your trademark. Practice giggling like a silly schoolgirl in the mirror before you go into the booth to get it just right. If you’re not one to giggle like a girl and really want to prove your manhood, grunt as if you’re taking a crap on the floor of the studio. See all of Rick Ross, Jay Z and Lil Wayne’s songs for examples.

6. Season Your Song with as Many N-Words and B-Words as Possible

What would rap be if it weren’t for the N-word and the B-word? After all these words are “empowering”… and using it in everyday conversation makes you sound so cultured and intelligent. Yup. As a black rapper, it is also your responsibility to give young white American kids, like the new white “rapper” Kreayshawn, more confidence in using the N-word with each other and eventually with blacks. Imagine how "empowering" it would be to see a young white girl from Kentucky get comfortable enough to call your black momma the N-word! A minimum of 20-30 percent of your rap song must be composed of some combination of the words “n*gga,” “b*tch” or “ho.” It’s a plus if it rhymes, so start brainstorming.

7. Heap a Generous Spoonful of Disparaging Remarks About Black Women and Women in General

No modern day rap song is quite complete without a heaping helping of negative remarks about women in general and black women in particular. Avoid calling women of all colors by their given names or “lady” and only reference them by “b*tch,” ho, “skeeze” or “twist.” Go out of your way to insult and assault the women of your own race who share a common background and similar struggles. Who cares if they were riding with you when you were poor and broke down? Reward them with disrespect, they should have known you better! If you really want to hit home and put your inner self-hatred on full display call your fan base "nappy headed hos" and laugh at them. For a recent example see Nicki Minaj (Did It On ‘Em).

* If you took any of this seriously, you're part of the problem, not the solution. Put down the mic and pick up a book.

- From Guest Blogger Sammy Jace

Permission to reprint granted as long as you give credit with this link: ClassyBlackLady.com

If you have a relevant article or story you wish to share regarding this issue or just want to show your support for the "Just Say No to Rap that Disrespects Black Women" movement, email us here.

Psychology Today Apologizes to Black Women: Late and Not Really

2011-05-29T16:42:00.000-07:00

So here is how the Psychology Today saga unfolded.

Psychology Today published a blog post by a racist scientist named Satoshi Kanazawa that blatantly called all black women objectively unattractive compared to all other women. Not only was the "science" Kanazawa used flawed, it turns out he flat out lied about the results. In truth the findings of the study he used stated that adult black women were rated at the same level of attractiveness as all other women.

Despite these glaring flaws, Psychology Today allowed the publication of Kanazawa's article. They then quickly removed it the same day and everyone involved (from Kanazawa to the editorial team at PT) went silent.

Black women immediately reamed Psychology Today hard with calls, letters and emails of outrage. This all occurred on May 16th, the Monday after the article was posted. Throughout the week black women continued to call Psychology Today to express disgust -- some to demand an apology and action against the author.

Psychology Today, headed up by Editor in Chief Kaja Perina, remained silent. The team was probably hoping that we black women would just go away already. After all, nobody really cares about our issues, right?

Then, the Change petition that demanded an apology from Psychology Today back on May 18th, suddenly blew up to well over 30,000 signatures in one day on May 26th. The mainstream media caught onto the story. Whites and black women alike expressed their displeasure with the magazine's decision to publish this clearly racist article.

Magically, the very next day on May 27th, Kaja Perina decided to issue an apology to black women and those who were offended.

Do you see what I'm getting at here? When it was just black women upset about the article for an entire week, Psychology Today felt it unnecessary to comment.

As soon as whites and the mainstream picked up on the story, Perina then apologized publicly -- the very next day. To me, that is a sign that Psychology Today is not apologizing to black women at all. Not in the least.

When I wrote my complaint letter to the editor, I stated that I wasn't asking for an apology because I knew it would be inauthentic. I stand by that. The disregard Psychology Today and Kaja Perina showed to black women when the story initially broke shows their true feelings on the matter.

So in short, apology not accepted.

Tabby

Satoshi Kanazawa Flat Out Lied in Racist Psychology Today Piece

2011-05-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

I don't normally blog twice on the same issue, but I felt it necessary in this case. I discovered new information that I feel is worth blogging on again regarding the racist Psychology Today article that was published about a week ago. It was scathingly insulting to all black women all over the world.

I was browsing through a few articles about Satoshi Kanazawa, the nitwit "scientist" who wrote the article, which labeled black women as "objectively unattractive." Kanazawa then went into hiding, apparently happy with himself for pulling off a major pot shot at black women in a well-read online magazine, and was unwilling or unable to come to the media to defend his "study."

Well I recently came across an article by a more reputable source, Angus Johnston a historian and blogger at StudentActivism.net.

Mr. Johnston thoroughly studied the information that Satoshi Kanazawa used to form the basis of his study. He found that the data Kanazawa used to write his article actually says that adult black women were rated just as attractive as other women.

Yes, according to Johnston's analysis, there were absolutely no differences in opinion about the looks of adult black women in the study Kanazawa used for his article in Psychology Today. Kanazawa conveniently left out a key set of data to make it seem as if black women were rated low on the charts.

Now don't get me wrong. I find the whole idea of rating people for physical attractiveness a silly matter. Beauty is highly subjective. What one person in the Sudan finds attractive is going to greatly differ from what a person in Switzerland or a white neighborhood in the U.S. finds attractive.

But why would Satoshi Kanazawa flat out lie about the results for black women in this manner for the purpose of his study? And how could Psychology Today publish his findings without vetting the information first?

Did they think this would just blow over and no one would notice?

There is clearly a major racial bias at work here. Something very nefarious at play.

Satoshi Kanazawa should not be allowed to teach at any major university that wants to keep its reputation in tact. I say that if the London School of Economics continues to employ this person as a serious staff member, it reduces its status as a serious university. That would be a major slap in the face to all of its 120,000 students (not to mention Alumni).

Here is the article by Angus Johnston explaining how Satoshi Kanazawa lied.

A sincere thank you goes out to Angus Johnston for digging deeper.

And by the way, please don't forget to sign the Change petition regarding this issue, which is now at 21,000 signatures and growing.

Racist Psychology Today Article Spreads More Lies About Black Women

2011-05-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

Racist Psychology Today article spreads more lies about Black Women - article taken down in a matter of hours.

By now most of you have probably heard about the racist Psychology Today article written by Satoshi Kanazawa. This was one of the fastest developing stories I've ever come across. In less than a business day Psychology Today was pressured to remove the article. No apology of course.

Who knows why Psychology Today allowed this insulting article to pass their editorial process. Maybe the editorial staff was letting their own latent beliefs about blacks and black women in particular shine through.

Who knows why Satoshi Kanazawa thought it was acceptable to deem a matter as highly subjective as looks and attractiveness worthy of an objective study. Maybe he thought this move would garner him more approval by whites, many of whom have really allowed their racist flags to fly over the past few years after the election of President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle.

This inane article is not what I want to discuss here. I want to discuss US. The classy black ladies of the world.

Why It Matters - What We're Fighting For

On one of the blogs I frequent, a young black girl admitted that reading negative stories like this about black women tears down her self-esteem again and again. To think that this is how others out there in the world truly perceive her as a black woman. It's overwhelming to her. And I know she's not alone. Another young lady admitted that she wishes she weren't black based on all of this negative media attention. Every time she looks online, on TV or in the newspaper they're saying something negative about black women and attacking her essence.

Those comments really hit deep for me. Building the self-esteem of young black girls and women is one of the top reasons why I decided to publish the Classy Black Lady website in the first place.

To that girl and the other young girls through older women who feel this way I just want to implore you: PLEASE, DO NOT BUY INTO THE HYPE.

Learn from History

I want to tell you a quick story about media and propaganda. In 1933 the Nazis began a campaign to make Jewish women and men look like animals and depraved human trash in their mainstream media. They used unflattering pictures depicting them as unattractive or animalistic and strategically placed negative news stories in mainstream news cycles.

They used supposedly "scientific" studies like the one that was published in this Psychology Today article to prove the inferiority of Jewish people. The also released popular movies that either made Jewish people look bad or Aryan Nazis look very good. The same trend in the media occurred over and over again. Imagine--just about every time a Jewish person picked up the newspaper or a magazine, switched on the radio or went to a "picture show," he read something negative about Jewish people.

Sound familiar?

Well people bought into it. Over a matter of just a few years, a large portion of Germans were believing these negative messages about Jewish residents of their country. Aryan Germans and even some Jewish folks started to believe that their own people were inferior. And you know the rest of the story.

Now do you see the parallels between this sad snippet from history and what has been happening over the past 3 years as far as the media's constant attacks against black women?

This is why a good portion of black women were annoyed by the racist Pepsi commercial, even though the majority of whites as well as some black women and men waved it off saying, "it's no big deal."

You see, it is a big deal, because it only gets worse and worse when you allow these types of negative media images to go un-checked. Seemingly small issues like Pepsi commercials become major smacks across the face, like this Psychology Today article which basically called black women objectively unattractive as a group!

Now, there's nothing you can do to change the opinions of others toward black women. Whites, non-blacks and even some blacks unfortunately are going believe and think what they will.

But it is ABSOLUTELY IMPERATIVE that you as a black woman remain strong, resilient and defiant in the face of these media attacks on black women. Do not buy into the hype. Fight back at every opportunity.

And guess what, black women like you are fighting back. That was clearly displayed yet again today when Psychology Today became so inundated with calls, emails, tweets and blog postings expressing their disgust with this article by Satoshi Kanazawa that they took the article down from their website immediately.

Too bad for Psychology Today and the author of that article, most of us will not forget. The article contents managed to survive through blogs. It serves as yet another constant reminder of our need to take back control over our own media image.

SIGN THE PETITION here. As of the date of this update it is now at over 20,000 signatures.

Here are the contacts for Psychology Today. Just because they've taken the article down doesn't mean we should stop calling.

Phone: (646) 763 6351 and (212) 260 7210

Jo Colman
CEO

Lawrence Rose
President

Charles Frank
COO

Batya Lahav
Director, Business Development

Editorial

Kaja Perina
Editor in Chief

Lybi Ma
Deputy Editor

Ed Levine
Creative Director

Carlin Flora
Features Editor

Andrea Bartz
News Editor

Hara Estroff Marano
Editor at Large

Web

Aaron Deutsch
Senior Producer

Why Advertisers and the Media Stereotype Black Women

2011-03-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

In this article I’m addressing one aspect of why advertisers and the mainstream media continue to stereotype and degrade black women.

Because there’s always a willing participant.

A reader sent me a link to a Bounce commercial that yet again depicts black women in a negative light. View it here:

Aaahhh ladies, it just keeps getting more blatant, doesn't it? I hope you’re taking note.

This particular commercial apparently has been running for a while, but has flown under the radar compared to the Pepsi commercial that caused an uproar because the Pepsi commercial was aired during the Superbowl.

So seeing this latest Bounce commercial really got me to thinking. As black women concerned with fair representation in the media and who are not content with settling for the constant stereotypes, yes, we should be targeting advertisers first and foremost.

But we must also target the women who willingly play these negative roles of black women in commercials, television shows and movies. Why are we letting them off the hook?

When I talk of “roles” I’m talking about the senselessly angry woman, sidekick or in the case of this horrid Bounce commercial the larger than life, unattractive, ridiculous, black mammy.

Quick question before I proceed: do advertisers simply not realize that we notice these slights, or do they do it in spite of what what we as black women may think or feel because they’re more concerned with getting laughs from other groups of people?

Back to my point. I think that we are letting the women who willingly play these roles off the hook. Did anyone contact the black female who didn’t have a problem playing the angry black woman in that Pepsi Commercial? Has anyone contacted Gabrielle Dennis (the same actress from The Game) for pulling her hair back to make herself look less attractive and playing the bitchy annoying black woman in the State Farm commercial that plays on television day and night?

I am personally making the decision to choose another brand of fabric softener sheets after viewing this Bounce commercial (there are simply too many alternate choices), but instead of just getting upset with Bounce why should we let the “Judas” of a woman who starred in this commercial off the hook as she runs off and spends her few thousand silver pieces?

I think it’s time that we officially “throw up the deuces” to those few black females who insist on playing into negative stereotypes about black women like the woman in this commercial. We should shun them instead of embracing them as a part of “us” as a community of black ladies who wish to make progress and be positive role models for younger girls.

To be clear, I’m talking about the everyday females who proudly wave their “I’m ghetto and proud!” flag in public. The cashiers who roll their eyes when you ask them for help in the store. The ones who insist on yelling, acting ignorant and harassing the waitress when they go to a restaurant to eat. The TV personalities ala Nene from Real Housewives of Atlanta who proudly display ignorance as a badge of their womanhood. The black females who go on TV news specials or submit to newspaper interviews where they moan about why black women are single and can’t find a man.

The silent majority of black women should hold these others more accountable for willingly participating in this nonsense. They stand out in the crowd and they know it because they’re attention hungry.

Which brings me to my second point. We, the silent majority, must also become more vocal and noticeable to neutralize and overshadow these negative media stereotypes instead of sitting idly by shaking our heads, don’t you think?

Don’t get me wrong now. None of us can stop the Nenes of the world from being who they are — they are free to be who they want to be. But the rest of us shouldn’t have to continue to silently suffer the effects of their nonsense without holding them as accountable as the advertisers and media types who use them to push their racist agendas.

So with this post I’m calling for two things:

1)    Begin to name and shame black females who participate in the negative stereotyping of black women in the media
2)    Step up and represent publicly as a classy and progressive black woman in your own way, whether it is starting a community organization or writing a book about the positive influences of black women on our society.

This was a long but I think important post addressing why advertisers and the media target and stereotype black women. The one positive effect of this ongoing issue is that it is starting to heighten the senses and sensibilities of black women in this country.

Love Tabby

Wow ladies, the media attacks seem endless! I hope you’re taking note.

This particular commercial apparently has been running for a while, but has flown under the radar compared to the Pepsi commercial that caused an uproar because it was aired during the Superbowl.

So seeing this latest Bounce commercial really got me to thinking. As black women concerned with fair representation in the media and not content with settling for the constant stereotypes, yes, we should be targeting advertisers first and foremost.

But we must also target the women who willingly play these negative roles of black women in commercials, television shows and movies.

When I talk of “roles” I’m talking about the senselessly angry woman, sidekick or in the case of this horrid Bounce commercial the larger than life, unattractive, ridiculous, black mammy.

Quick question before I proceed: do advertisers simply not realize that we notice these slights, or do they do it in spite of what what we as black women may think or feel because they’re more concerned with getting laughs from other groups of people?

Back to my point. I think that we are letting the women who willingly play these roles off the hook. Did anyone contact the black female who didn’t have a problem playing the angry black woman in that Pepsi Commercial? Has anyone contacted ____ for playing the bitchy annoying black woman in the State Farm commercial that plays day and night?

I am personally making the decision to choose another brand of fabric softener sheets after viewing this Bounce commercial (there are simply too many alternate choices), but instead of just getting upset with Bounce why should we let the “Judas” of a woman who starred in this commercial off the hook as she runs off and spends her few thousand silver pieces?

I think it’s time that we officially “throw up the deuces” to those few black females who insist on playing into negative stereotypes about black women like the woman in this commercial. We should shun them instead of embracing them as a part of “us” as a community of black ladies who wish to make progress and be positive role models for younger girls.

To be clear, I’m talking about the everyday females who proudly wave their “I’m ghetto and proud!” flag in public. The cashiers who roll their eyes when you ask them for help in the store. The ones who insist on yelling, acting ignorant and harassing the waitress when they go to a restaurant to eat. The TV personalities ala Nene from Real Housewives of Atlanta who proudly display ignorance as a badge of their womanhood. The black females who go on TV news specials or submit to newspaper interviews where they moan about why black women are single and can’t find a man.

The silent majority of black women should hold these others more accountable for willingly participating in this nonsense. They stand out in the crowd and they know it because they’re attention hungry.

Which brings me to my second point. We, the silent majority, must also become more vocal and noticeable to neutralize and overshadow these negative media stereotypes instead of sitting idly by shaking our heads, don’t you think?

Don’t get me wrong now. None of us can stop the Nenes of the world from being who they are — they are free to be who they want to be. But the rest of us shouldn’t have to continue to silently suffer the effects of their nonsense without holding them as accountable as the advertisers and media types who use them to push their racist agendas.

So with this post I’m calling for two things:

1)   Begin to name and shame black females who participate in the negative stereotyping of black women in the media
2)   Step up and represent publicly as a classy and progressive black woman in your own way, whether it is starting a community organization or writing a book about the positive influences of black women on our society.

This was a long but I think important post addressing why advertisers and the media target and stereotype black women. The one positive effect of this ongoing issue is that it is starting to heighten the senses and sensiblities of black women in this country.

Love Tabby

Racist NYC Abortion Billboard Attacks Black Women

2011-02-24T14:08:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: I just received word that the racist NYC abortion billboard ad is coming down! A sincere THANK YOU to the vocal black leaders in NYC who fought on behalf of black women during black history month.

Classy black ladies, yet again I am shaking my head at the attack on black womanhood that seems persistent.

In the wake of the racist Pepsi commercial (which Pepsi still has not offered any type of apology for, which goes to show you how much Pepsi values and respects your $600 billion buying power) now we are dealing with an anti-abortion group called Life Always that has posted a very mean-spirited and racist ad targeting a black woman's womb as the most dangerous place for a child.

It is very disgusting, and ironic that two of the people who have done this are two black pastors, Stephen Broden and Derek McCoy who teamed up with two whites to vilify black women as a whole. So-called men of the cloth who have chosen to go for "shock value" to rile people up and make them angry rather than put the thousands they paid for the billboard into programs that help young teen mothers birth and raise their children.

Even they say that they were wrong to do it: ""We do think we've gone too far, and we do think it's over the edge," McCoy said to AM New York.

What's the point of the billboard? Do these Life Always "people" think that by insulting black women they'll shame them into not getting an abortion?

Not to mention how this relieves other races of the stigma of abortion, as usual. The statistics show that the majority of abortions are performed on white females (about 60% of them).

I have contacted a few parties who have been vocal about this billboard (including Public Advocate Bill de Blasio and City Councilman Charles Barron) to see if we can organize some type of protest or letter writing campaign to have this billboard taken down by Lamar Advertising.

We should also delve deeper into the backgrounds of these people who head up Life Always. Strangely, it's almost impossible to find a phone number or email address for them.

The racist billboard is scheduled to remain up in SOHO NYC for three weeks. Please start buzzing this through your social networks. Here are suggestions for how you can protest this ad:

Contact Bill de Blasio (NYC Public Advocate) to show your support, thank him for being vocal and ask how you can help:

http://pubadvocate.nyc.gov/contact-us

Contact City Councilman Charles Barron to show your support, thank him for being vocal and ask how you can help:

http://www.gothamgazette.com/city/district/42

Contact Lamar Advertising (the company that agreed to post this billboard) to express your displeasure:

http://www.lamar.com/Contact

Contact the Life Always organization to express your displeasure at their lowbrow, racist ad:

Email: media@lifealways.com

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/@ThatsAbortion

Racist Pepsi Commercial - Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee Speaks Out

2011-02-10T15:59:00.000-08:00

A commenter on my blog brought to my attention the fact that Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, a congresswoman from Texas, recently spoke out against the racist and stereotypical Pepsi commercial that aired on Superbowl Sunday 2011. Here is the video:

I viewed the footage of Rep. Lee and I must say, WOW. This woman is so brave that it made me beam with a renewed pride. She went before a crowd of white, non-black and male faces to speak up on a very specific issue that concerns many black women in her district and beyond. She did so very eloquently and succinctly - straight to the point.

Her speech kind of reminded me of the civil rights leaders of 30 to 50 years ago. They didn't have any problem speaking their mind in public even if many people would disagree.

While I'm certain a number of people will try to insult Rep. Lee for speaking her mind on a very real issue that concerns black women (unfair and biased negative media portrayals), she is a shero in my mind for doing this.

As I stated earlier, the uproar is not about this Pepsi commercial alone. This commercial is a tipping point after literally years of media biases and stories that paint black women as a whole in a very negative light.

If you're still confused about why people are upset, think of it like this: if you pull a tension band further and further back over an extended period of time, eventually that band is either going to SNAP or go sailing into the sky!

Well I firmly believe that after this latest offense from Pepsi, black women are going to go soaring toward justice on a number of matters. Black women empowerment and positive messages about black women.

That's what this website is all about after all- it is by, for and about classy black women making strides in this and other countries.

Thank you again to Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee of Texas. Regardless of what folks say about you after speaking out for us on the House floor regarding this Pepsi commercial, we love you, respect you and appreciate you for saying what many black women are thinking in such a public way.

Don't forget to sign the petition (Boycott Pepsi - Racist Superbowl Commercial Stereotypes Black Women) if you haven't done so already.

Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »

Racist Superbowl Commercial - Pepsi Ad Stereotypes Black Women

2011-02-06T17:29:00.000-08:00

Classy black ladies, do you remember when I told you that we must hold the media and commercial companies accountable for the negative stereotypes they put out there about black women? Well the Pepsi commercial that aired during the Superbowl this evening is a perfect example of what I mean.

Have you seen this racist Pepsi commercial that negatively stereotypes black women as angry and violent yet? In it a black woman bullies her black husband for eating bad things and at the end throws a can of Pepsi at a white woman he smiles at. Think I'm kidding? View the video here (you may have to click to see it on Youtube):

View the Racist Superbowl Commercial that Negatively Stereotypes Black Women Here on Youtube

This video was a part of a Pepsi contest and guess what? It won and was displayed for millions to view! From what I've heard (not entirely sure) it was created by a white man. Now do you think the people that this producer chose for these roles was purely coincidental OR did he make that choice to play on the negative stereotypes of the angry black woman that the media puts out day in and out?

So again black ladies, I implore you to step up and say something. It is unacceptable for the media to continue to perpetuate these negative stereotypes of black women. You must DO something.

Easy 1-2-3 plan of action black ladies:

1) Boycott Pepsi. Drink another soda if you must drink soda at all. Pepsi also owns a number of other brands, like Gatorade, SoBe, Lipton, Ocean Spray, Sierra Mist and Mountain Dew. See all Pepsi brands here.

2) Contact Pepsi right now. Send them an email at one or all of the addresses below:

Media Relations:
pepsicomediarelations@pepsi.com
mediarelations@pepsi.com

Consumer Response Team:
http://www.pepsico.com/Contacts.html

Send a letter:
Tricia Lynch
PepsiCo
700 Anderson Hill Road
Purchase, NY 10577

3) Sign the petition to boycott Pepsi products and support an ANTI-anti-black women efforts. Pass this petition around to all of your Facebook and Twitter friends.

TAKE ACTION ladies. Do not allow the media to continue to get away with disrespecting the image of black women.

Our ancestors, the Harriet Tubmans and Rosa Parks of the past, would fight back, as they did to get us the rights that we enjoy today. Continue that tradition!

Sign Petition for Kelley Williams-Bolar | Black Woman Jailed for Sending Kids to School

2011-01-26T09:17:00.000-08:00

A black woman in Ohio was recently jailed for trying to send her kids to a better school district. Yes, they charged her with a felony which also might hurt her chances of getting a job as a teacher in the future. Quick summary of what has transpired:

Ms. Kelley Williams-Bolar is the mother of two girls, ages 12 and 16. She used her father's address so that her two children could go to the much better schools in his school district. The courts charged her with 2 felonies for her actions, 10 days in jail and 3 years of probation. All for trying to get her children a better education.

The judge in the case, Patricia Cosgrove, specifically expressed in her comments in the courtroom that she was making an example of Ms. Williams-Bolar. To top everything else off, she told Ms. Williams-Bolar that she wouldn't be able to get the teaching degree and certification she has been working hard to get for the past few years.

This is what the judge stated: "'Because of the felony conviction, you will not be allowed to get your teaching degree under Ohio law as it stands today. The court's taking into consideration that is also a punishment that you will have to serve.'' - Judge Patricia Cosgrove

Black ladies, we need to stand behind Ms. Williams-Bolar. Yes, what she did was probably against the rules, but it is not deserving of a felony conviction that would rob her from furthering her career and finally getting her kids out of the hood. She took a risk to help her kids, and for that alone she is a Classy Black Lady in my eyes.

Please visit the petition for Kelley Williams-Bolar and add your signature. The petition is asking for the sentence to at least be reduced so that she can get her teaching degree. Tweet this to your followers and friends on Facebook. It takes just a few seconds. Thank you.

UPDATE! The Kelley Williams-Bolar petition has now met its goal of 50,000 signatures and is well past 69,000 in agreement as of the date of this update. Thank you to all who have shown support for this brave hard-working lady. You can still sign if you haven't done so yet.

Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »

Love Tabby

Lil Wayne Disrespects Black Women & Dark Skin -- What Else Is New?

2011-01-08T07:13:00.000-08:00

So, I just happen to be browsing through my stats and see a slew of requests for "lil wayne disrespects dark skin" search terms. I finally decided to do some web research to see what's prompting this trend, and lo and behold I find this story:

Apparently, a dark skinned model got a first hand account of Lil Wayne's self hatred and outward hatred toward dark skinned black women. Here's her story in case you haven't read it yourself yet:

We met up with Mack Maine from Young Money, he then took us to a hotel a couple of other girls were there and so was Lil Wayne, Guda Guda, Lil Chuckee, and Birdman. When we entered the room Guda was like “Damn, y’all pretty, to be dark skin.” And then Wayne quoted a verse from his song ["Right Above"]. I heard the song before and I was offended when I heard the lyrics, but I brushed my feelings off and forgot about what the gremlin said. But him saying it over again made me angry as hell. So me being the outspoken person that I am, I said, “Wayne, your daughter is dark skin so why would you say such ignorance?” He said ‘My daughter is a dark skinned millionaire, that’s the difference between her and you.”

I can tell he was very upset because i bought his daughter up but that is no excuse for what he said. Next he stated, “MY daughter is the first and last dark skin child I’m having. The rest of my baby moms [are] light skinned chicks. I even got an Asian baby moms to make sure I have a daughter with good hair. Too bad we had a son.”

Everybody started laughing and [we] stormed out of the room. Some guys followed us saying “Not everybody hate dark skinned girls. Young Money just allergic to Chocolate.”

I'm not surprised at this story at all, and I believe it 100% due to his past lyrics, including the "bet that B look better red" lyric that he expressed in his song "Right Above It." This is why I've been spreading the message to black women to stop supporting disrespectful rap and black rappers who disrespect their own once and for all.

It seems that black women are finally starting to wake up after this latest bit of news. Please pass the logo below around to all of your social networking friends.

Boycott Rap

Real Housewives of Atlanta Ratings : Why the Lies?

2010-12-12T23:44:00.000-08:00

I read an article weeks ago that stated that the Real Housewives of Atlanta ratings on Bravo weren't doing very well. I thought that was strange being that every other source I read said they were doing amazing for a Bravo /cable show.

Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast

Then I read another article that said the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills series had the highest ratings of all the "Housewives" series'.

Then just tonight I came across yet an article on Perez Hilton's website entitled Atlanta Housewives Aren't Bringing It In The Ratings!

The only problem is that all of these articles and blogs were lying! I mean, bold-faced lies.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta is the highest rated show out of all the Housewives series. It consistently gets well over 2 million viewers while the other series barely make over 1 million viewers.

Commentators on the article posted on Perez Hilton article exposed the inconsistency -- the article mentioned ratings for an episode of RHOA that hadn't even aired yet! What is going on here?

In fact, the latest ratings released December 7, 2010 state that the Real Housewives of Atlanta recently broke the 3 million viewers mark (3.22 million viewers to be exact). Don't believe me? See it here at TV By the Numbers. The Beverly Hills series receives about 1.5 million viewers each week on average.

So I am not going to spend much time speculating on why some online blogs and news outlets have been lying about Real Housewives of Atlanta's ratings -- instead I just wanted to expose this ongoing lie buzzing around certain blogs and clarify that RHOA is doing just fine ratings-wise.

Again, the Real Housewives of Atlanta is and has always been the highest rated out of all the Housewives series on the Bravo channel. The gals on RHOA are extremely entertaining and well-loved -- often imitated but never duplicated.

So please news outlets stop lying on the show, whatever your reasons may be.

Black Rappers vs Black Women : 5 Specific Instances of Straight Up Disrespect

2010-12-01T05:34:00.000-08:00

5 specific cases where black rappers have disrespected black women in songs, videos and the media. Boycott rappers. Part 1

I have decided to launch a mini-crusade against rappers. In a previous post I implored black ladies not to financially support rap music by disrespectful male rappers anymore, period, end of story. But I'm not sure if the message is getting out there as it should. I think we are letting too much stuff slide black ladies. What do you think?

Black male rappers have been blatantly disrespecting black women in videos and songs for over two decades now. That is over 20 years of negativity that members of our own race have been propagating throughout the black community. I specifically target black male rappers because they are the only ones who seem to be going out of their way to disrespect black women for some reason.

We wonder why many little black boys are so disrespectful and angry at the world. We also wonder why many little black girls tend to have lower self esteem and get involved with the same boys and men who are disrespecting and hurting them.

So to help promote my anti-rap crusade, I decided to create a list of specific instances where black male rappers have disrespected, insulted or put down black women and girls. This is a running list that will continue as time goes on. These rappers seem perfectly willing to keep giving me ammo, so I will continue to build on this list in future parts. Here goes:

Lil Wayne – Right Above It Song

I had a difficult time choosing just one instance of rapper Lil Wayne, as he has an entire portfolio full of songs where he disrespects or insults black women specifically. We all know about his constant references to wanting a "red bone" and getting jollies from likening kicking B-words and H-words out of his condo like Pam from Martin.

This is all despite the fact that Lil Wayne has a beautiful dark-skinned black little daughter and ex-wife (Toya) who are two of the most wonderful classy black ladies I've seen on reality television. It's all very ironic.

Now the disrespect to black women from Lil Wayne that I decided to note in this list is very slight and sneaky. You probably haven't even caught it yet. In his song "Right Above It" featuring Drake, this is what this black man with a dark-skinned daughter says:

"How do you say what's never said?

Beautiful black women, I bet that bitch look better red"

Not only did he discount the black skin of the woman in his story and say that she probably would look better "red" (as in light-skinned or red-bone), he went a step further and called her a bitch. If you do not believe me, listen to the lyrics here. The reference comes right around the 3:00 mark.

Can you believe this? Saying that a black woman would look better with light or white skin is a mark of a black male who is truly lost. Does that include your daughter, Lil Wayne? Malcolm X, where are you brother we need you bad.

Rick Ross – Aston Marton Music Song

In the video, Rick Ross take a trip back in time to when he was a kid. The young, dark-skinned black girl is portrayed as "a hater" while the biracial curly-haired girl encourages him. The exchange happens right at the beginning of the video:

Now why would Rick Ross go out of his way to cast a very dark-skinned little black girl in this video to play the one negative role in the piece? Why would he pit dark versus light in this way. Also, as you can see the girl's hair is unkempt, she has one earring and she switches her neck around in an angry fashion – another negative stereotype of black women and girls. It seems as if Rick Ross and his producers went out of their way to cast a black girl for this role. Why not put a hating young boy in that role instead of taking this very blatant shot at darker-skinned young black girls? Throughout the rest of the video the same biracial curly-haired girl (presumably) is enjoying all of the spoils of success with Rick Ross.

You don't think little black girls watch these videos and absorb this negativity about themselves on TV? This is precisely why Black Girls Rock! was needed.

Chris Brown & Friends – Deuces Remix

I heard this song, ironically, when I was driving home from attending the Black Girls Rock awards show back in November and it came on the radio. After hearing one black male rapper after another jump on the track to disrespect and insult women, I started to realize what they were really doing with their angry and disrespectful lyrics calling women b-words, which state that they are "leaving" and chucking up the "deuces." In my opinion, they are specifically talking to black women, stating that they are "moving on" to something better. I shook my head after being bombarded with beauty, elegance and positive images of black women, then I get into my car and hear a PERFECT example of why more shows and efforts like Black Girls Rock are needed.

You judge for yourself – here is a clip to the song, where black rappers let all their true feelings of hate for women shine through:

Jay Z - Black Woman as a "Double Zero"

Jay Z is yet another rapper who we have countless examples of disrespect of black women and girls. I can distinctly remember "back in the day" when his song "Girls, Girls, Girls" came out and he took the opportunity to attach every negative stereotype he could think of to the black woman in his story. Well I chose another more recent yet more obscure offense instead.

In his video "On to the Next One," which many people associated with satanic images, there is one image in particular that stood out to me. There is a young black woman with traditional African corn rows in the video, just standing around looking sad with two zeros on her chest.

Here is the video. You first see her right around the 0:24 mark in the video, but she appears throughout.

Now what does this image mean? Is she just a "nappy headed ho" to Jay Z and crew as Don Imus stated in his hatefully notorious comment about the black Rutger's women's basketball team? Or is Jay Z and his producers simply telling this black woman that she is not only a ZERO, but a double ZERO and he/black men/the world should be "on to the next one." Is he saying she is a zero because she won't move onto the next level of putting weave in her hair, contacts in her eyes and sexing herself up in the way that his wife, Beyonce, has done?

Black women, open your eyes and don't continue to let subliminal messages like this slide. I sure won't.

Slim Thug Insults Black Women

Slim Thug let his true feelings for black women out in an interview with Vibe Magazine earlier this year that got a lot of media attention. I wrote a blog post about him on as well here. In the interview he states:

"Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now." (so basically Slim Thug feels that black women should have low self-esteem and standards in life)

"My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the shit that I say, so we make it" (basically supporting a white supremecist belief that white is better or superior. He does not even realize that he has insulted himself as well as a black person)

Here is the link to the actual interview:

http://www.vibe.com/posts/slim-thug-black-women-need-stand-their-man-more

Slim Thug is a disgrace to black people all over the world.

-----

I only posted 5 cases here, but there are countless others and I do plan to post as many of them as possible before I'm done. I think it's high time we start shining the light on these black male rappers and their specific offenses toward black women.

I'm doing my part.

YOUR JOB: Spread this article around to as many black women as you can. Also, if you can name a few instances, please email me them or post them under comments. Like this on Facebook if you support my little anti-rap campaign.

DO NOT SUPPORT DISRESPECTFUL RAPPERS

Feel free to share the logo:

Love

Tabby

Black Girls Rock! BET Awards Gave This Black Girl a Shock

2010-10-18T17:26:00.000-07:00

Snapshot of the BET Black Girls Rock Website

Attending BET's Black Girls Rock! awards show this past weekend was an inspirational experience. The show airs on BET on November 7 at 8pm

This past weekend I had the wonderful privilege of being able to attend an amazing and extremely successful event held by BET called Black Girls Rock. I received an invite after having donated to the Black Girls Rock! organization in the past.

I initially thought this would be a small panel of black women discussing the achievements and beauty of black women.

But boy was I surprised when I found out that this was a full fledged awards show complete with performances by some of my favorite female R&B singers .

I'm talking about Keisha Cole! Monica! Jill Scott! Keri Hilson! And Fantasia!! The gorgeous and classy Nia Long was hosting. I was reeling with excitement when I learned this to be true.

The venue and attendees were a classy black girl's dream. Everyone from the security professionals to the attendants were professional and kind. I was ushered right up to the front to an available seat so I had a bird's eye view of all the celebs sitting down and performing on stage.

The awards show honored everyone from the beautiful and classy young 17-year-old Keke Palmer to the first black female Major General of the United States Marcelite Harris. Toward the end they gave the Black Girls Rock living legend award to Ruby Dee, a sweet but still feisty woman who served to inspire me time and again as I watched her presentation.

Even the band was made up of talented black girls who rock—the drummer was really doing her thing!

Also toward the end, a quartet featuring Jill Scott, Marsha Ambrosius, Kelly Price and Ledisi rocked the audience's world. They sang a rendition of Four Women by Nina Simone, which ended with a standing ovation to end all ovations.

This BET Black Girls Rock! event shook me to the core. It was so nice to see my own vision for the future of black women in America, as you can see from the establishment of this Classy Black Lady website, finally start to come to fruition.

Black Girls Rock airs Nov 7 on BET

The event was dedicated to black girls and women out there struggling to make a way. It encouraged us all to keep pushing on because we are best that ever did it. Black women, we are the ish.

I learned new things at this event, including a gem from Ruby Dee: "If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there."

I have decided to recommit myself to this website project and blog more regularly despite my hectic schedule -- my goal is at least 2 new posts per week -- thanks to the inspiration I received from attending this Black Girls Rock! Awards show.

Listen classy black ladies, do not miss the televised broadcast of Black Girls Rock! on BET, November 7 at 8pm. Be there or be square.

Sit down with your young daughters, sisters, nieces, friends and mothers. Do not let this wonderful show for black women slip by you -- I never thought I'd be saying this but THANK YOU BET. And thank you, thank you, thank you to Beverly Bond, the founder of the organization.

Please donate to the Black Girls Rock! charity by texting "IROCK" along with the dollar amount of your donation to 27138 or just visit the Black Girls Rock website.

I told you classy black ladies in a blog post that our time was coming. Despite the media's attack on black womanhood over the past several years, still we rise.

So what are you waiting for? It's time for you to make your move rockin' black girl, whether it's to start your own business, start a new and exciting career, make more positive black woman news, improve your community, motivate little black girls, or any combination of these wonderful and very realistic goals!

Ochocinco The Ultimate Catch Ratings Failure: Classy Beats Trashy

2010-08-07T23:18:00.000-07:00

Chad Ochocinco and VH1 are learning a hard lesson about disrespecting and disregarding the value of putting classy black ladies on TV.

A few months ago, black football player Chad Ochocinco was exposed for selectively ruling black women out of his show, The Ultimate Catch, on VH1. Wendy Williams interviewed him about it on her show, and he was unapologetic.

Not only did he rule out classy black women from his show (classlessly throwing in a few stereotypical "ghetto girls" at the end for some drama) he also took it to another level by selecting a lot of trashy types to "compete for his heart" instead.

Well, I just happened to check the ratings for this show today and like I predicted, classy seems to be beating trashy.

Chilli's classy show What Chilli Wants regularly exceeded 1.3 million viewed each night on Sunday when it was on the air and achieved a peak viewership of about 1.6 million. Ms. Chilli was promptly asked to return for a 2nd season.

Ochocinco's The Ultimate Catch is struggling for viewers, barely making the TV ratings radar at about 800,000 to 850,000 viewers.

Update: make that 663,000 viewers for the Ochocinco show as of 8/10/10. (Source: TVbytheNumbers)

Even VH1 is wondering what's going on here. The show did ok on the premier episode due to all the controversy, then started to tank.

(Image courtesy i10media)

There are 3 lessons here (in case VH1 is still confused):

1) Viewers like classy shows more than trashy ones (at least when it comes to VH1 reality television shows). Young ladies there's a lesson in this for you -- there's no future or success in trashiness, despite what the media might tell you.

2) Black women make up a significant percentage of reality TV viewers, and we will not subject ourselves to being blatantly disrespected and disregarded in the media without fighting back.

3) Over half a million (500,000 to 800,000) dedicated reality show viewers stood up and effectively boycotted the ignorance of the Chad Ochocinco show instead of allowing themselves to be subjected to Flavor of Love on steroids.

Bravo ladies and gentlemen--and to black women in particular, do you see how powerful boycotting is? Now let's do the same to rappers who disrespect black women in songs and in the media please--starting today.

If you're a reality television fan, tweet VH1 and tell them to put more classy black ladies like Chilli and Pepa on the station!

Black Women are the Ish !

2010-07-26T14:22:00.000-07:00

Black women, you are the ish! Be proud of your African heritage, looks, traits, and roots.

Black is beautiful. Young black ladies, show more pride in your African features, history, and uniqueness.

- Hold your head up high whenever you are walking down the street. Don't walk around looking at the ground or feeling sad -- you are a strong African-esque woman ACT LIKE IT!

- Stop trying to assimilate to white culture--that is a recipe for disaster. You might have white friends, but that doesn't mean you have to be just like them. You are not white and you will never be white--get that through your beautiful head and be thankful, because many white people envy your rich culture, strength in the face of adversity, and your distinctive African features. They try to make you feel inferior based on their own personal inferiority complex. You are an African American woman and you're beautiful in your own right--remember that. How ironic that whites spend thousands of dollars each year (dark tanning, injections, and implants) trying to look just like YOU! Celebrate your own culture black woman.

- Get in shape girl. Health and fitness should be a top priority for you as a strong black woman. Who said you have to be rail thin and unhealthy like most celebrities and models? Aim for a curvy, healthy and fit physique. Visit a website like Black Women's Health or Livestrong (where you can set goals and "dares" for yourself and make commitments with other members) to start getting on the track to better health.

- Get rid of the negative people around you. if you have a friend, boyfriend, or even a family member who's constantly saying negative things about black women or black people in general EX that person out of your life permanently. He/she isn't worth your presence! The influence of others is very real, it's why kids who grow up being told they aren't going to amount to anything usually don't and have very low self-esteem.

- If you wear a messy weave or wig, take that fake mess out of your hair and proudly display your African locks. Who said you have to wear your hair bone straight like a white girl--the perm factory that makes millions off of your regular purchases? There's nothing wrong with wearing your hair (even if it's relaxed) in a big puffy or wavy Afro style along with a pair of huge hoop earrings (another African accessory) sometimes -- spray your AFRICAN hair with some oil sheen and go ! Go to Black Hair Media and network with other black ladies regarding natural or healthy relaxed styles. You might be surprised at how the "others" stare and gawk when they see a black woman proud of her African heritage and roots walking around with her head held high.

- Surround yourself with like minded african american women and positive brothers who love black people. If you live in a mostly white area, go one of the "chocolate cities" (DC, philadelphia, chicago, atlanta) to see how progressive black people there love themselves and each other. Leave the negative black websites alone and visit other positive black websites dedicated to celebrating black female beauty, such as Coco and Creme, Brown Sista, and Hello Beautiful and My Black is Beautiful.

Love Tabby

Black Women Empowerment Blogs

2010-07-11T15:40:00.000-07:00

Black women empowerment blogs are popping up all over the internet, thriving, and mark the beginning of a long-needed revolution in the black female community.

I've decided to start a running list of all of some of the popular black female empowerment blogs on the net. I've provided a link to an interesting post from each website. Feel free to add more to my blog roll and spread it amongst your sisters (see the "Share" button below):

What About Our Daughters? (a darn good question if you ask me)

I'm a Good Woman very balanced and encouraging blog by a beautiful black lady

Black Women Blow the Trumpet

Black Women Deserve Better

Afrobella

Michelle Obama Watch

Betty Chambers

The Angry Black Woman

Black Women Fight Back! (contains a great listing of solutions for empowering black women one day and struggle at a time)

The New Elegant Black Woman Etiquette advice and other tips for creating an army of refined and elegant young black ladies.

For Brown Girls A website by a bright and beautiful 19-year old college student to provide support and encouragement to lovely darker-skinned ladies!

The Crunk Feminist Collective A group of hip hop generation feminists of color.

Cafe Belle A site that discusses a variety of black woman issues.

While I don't endorse every opinion expressed on these black women empowerment blogs, I 100% endorse black women empowerment in general!

I will return with more and update this list on a regular basis.....

Omarosa on The Ultimate Merger Is a Breath of Fresh Air

2010-07-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

Omarosa on The Ultimate Merger (comes on Thursdays at 10pm on TVone) is a pleasant surprise. Some call it the black version of the Bachelorette, but I say it's even BETTER because it's more realistically done.

Like many people who have seen the villain-ess Omarosa Manigault in action from the early days of the Apprentice, I judged Ms. Manigault as an angry and unnecessarily mean woman. I admit. But after seeing three episodes of her new TV show "The Ultimate Merger" on TVOne (10pm Thursdays) I am changing my tune a bit.

Yes, the lady is intense. But more and more I'm starting to see her other (very flattering) layers reveal themselves. Here are a few comments about the show so far:

1. For one, Omarosa is a knockout. I mean wow, you can tell this lady has taken great care of her skin, body and hair. She made me want to go get a vat of cocoa butter.

2. Secondly, this show makes it clear that Omarosa is not the one dimensional "B-word" that she's made herself out to be to become famous. In fact, she is a very multi-faceted lady. She is fearless, smart, and caring.

When one of the brothers on the show revealed that he had served time in prison, she didn't roll her eyes at him and draw a line through his name immediately. Instead she held his hands, encouraged him, and gave him a huge sisterly hug. That is what true black women are about, and that is why I love black women dearly.

3. Finally, I am glad that Omarosa made a clear statement by choosing a majority of black men (distinguished types) instead of mixing the cast up like some shows do when a black person is the chooser. I never understood why on shows like the Bachelor, it was fine for one minority to be placed on a cast of majority whites, but on black shows there has to be a fair percentage of non-blacks.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to see ignorant black men on any show, just for the sake of being black, but in this case you can tell that the producers picked well-off, professional, smart, educated black men. Yes, they do exist. Maybe some brother should create a "classy black man" website lol.

Here is a clip from the show:

Black Women Are Fed Up and Fighting Back

2010-06-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

There has been a mainstream media attack launched against black women over the past two years. Now black women are fed up and fighting back.

Over the past year and a half to two years, the mainstream media has been treating black women like targets at a shooting range. And you don't even have to be a black woman to notice this anymore. It's no longer paranoia--it's a very real fact.

Just to quickly summarize the ongoing negative themes we hear about black women constantly in the media:

Why are so many black women single and lonely (as if other races of women don't have any problems finding good men)
Successful black women don't get married (so I guess we're all supposed to "dumb down" and seek lesser paying jobs)
Half of black women s t d carriers (completely misleading statistics released by the CDC based on a small sample taken in economically disadvantaged areas which was then discredited by a variety of medical professionals)
Black women only have $5 net worth (despite the fact that a news story revealed that black women make more than white women on average-- see it here)
Black women should act more like "other" women (courtesy a black male rapper named "Slim Thug" whose career has been supported and promoted by black women and girls loyally over the years)

You know the usual news headlines that attempt to emotionally and psychologically break down the psyche of strong black women.

Don't believe me?

Do a search for the term "black women" in Google right now....

On the very first page of results you see "Jezebel Stereotype," "70% of african american women are single" and "Black women unmarried." The results may change as this blog post ages, but why is it that we black women can't even do a search for ourselves without getting slammed with negative stories online?

I have a theory about why the mainstream media has chosen black women as a target, and I have written about it briefly on my ClassyBlackLady.com about page.

I personally believe that the media chose to start this attack on black women right after Michelle Obama became the First Lady of the United States. It seems as if the positive image of this wonderful black lady in the White House was just too much for the media to handle.

Think about it. The negative portrayals, stories, and statistics (all severely slanted and misguided) about black women started popping up in the news cycle a little under two years ago. Right around the time that Mrs. Obama became the First Lady. Strange, huh?

Well, Black Women Have Had Enough

For a while, this negative media left black women reeling and surprised. "Where did all of this come from?" many of us asked ourselves.

But after doing some research on the various blogs and websites online, I'm starting to see an encouraging trend among my beautiful, strong, resilient sisters.

Black women are FED UP and FIRED UP!

Many of us have finally decided to start fighting back against this negative media onslaught by starting (and posting to) blogs, websites, and campaigns to inject positive news about black women into the mainstream media.

Also, we're starting to realize the fullness of our economic power in the United States. As I've quoted many times, black women spend over $600 billion every year. If we stop giving that money to companies, entertainers and media outlets who openly disrespect black women and start funneling the majority of that cash back into other black women-owned businesses, imagine how powerful we can really become as a group.

I have always said and I still believe going forward that black women will have our day. One day, the same media enterprises, groups, and individuals that have tried to rip our image to shreds will be kissing our feet and begging for our forgiveness, trying to get back in our good graces. That includes the Chris Rocks, D.L. Hughleys, Slim Thugs, Lil Waynes, and John Mayers of the world. When that does happen, be sure to kick the beggars away -- they have made their beds and we should most certainly let them lie in it.

Our black female ancestors, grandmothers, mothers, aunts and sisters have suffered through injustice after injustice in this country, continued to survive, and remain strong. We can not let them down now.

Black sisters: continue to fight back while staying classy. Spend your money with other worthy sisters and brothers whenever possible. I will be back with more positive, encouraging news soon.

Love Tabby

Slim Thug Insults Black Women : Boycott Ignorant Black Rappers

2010-06-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

Black women, it's time we stop supporting black rappers once and for all. Starting TODAY.

I recently came upon a story about a rapper named Slim Thug. He has chosen to take the degradation of black women by rappers to another level with some very mean comments toward the same women who birthed, raised and supported him to the status he's at now. I won't go into details about what he said, because frankly it's mostly gibberish, but you can read the article and comments here.

Now I don't commonly like to post negative news about my lovely black sisters here at classyblacklady.com -- the purpose of this blog is to uplift the black female community. But shortly after his comments were publicized, a black man of merit Professor Marc Lamont Hill (pictured to the left) stepped forward and put this "Slim Thug" in his place. It's so nice to see a good black man finally come to the forefront in defense of black women for a change.

By the way, hey Will Smith, Denzel, Mike Epps and black men in the entertainment biz: where are you brothers when black women are being attacked like this in the media? We supported you all day in and out to get you to where you careers are--so why are you suspiciously silent when nonsense like this makes it way up to the top of the news cycle against your staunchest supporters?

But back to the topic at hand. I just want to speak to black women right now. I seriously think it's time for us to stop supporting black rappers. PERIOD. They disrespect us in just about every song, praising non-black women (beckys) and lusting after "red bones." I recently heard a song by Lil Wayne on the radio promoting the single ho-rrific life that many black men now think is "normal." No other race of men disrespects and disregards their women the way that these black "men" do.

So why are you, a proud sista with sense, still supporting this mess from black rappers?

Did you know that black women have a buying power of more than $600 BILLION each year? (Source: WomenEntrepeneur). It's estimated that black women account for 85% of buying decisions in the black community.

Black women lets wield that power starting today. Stop supporting the work of black "men" who don't and won't support you through their art and in their personal lives. If you absolutely must listen to a rap song that's degrading women and droning on about the same old same old above a catchy beat, go old school and tape it from the radio or listen on youtube. Do not spend another dime on the likes of Slim Thug or any other rapper who has disrespected black women in the media or his songs.

Continue to uplift true, dedicated black men like Professor Hill who is aware of his history and isn't afraid to speak up on the behalf of his sisters.

That is all I have to say on that matter. Now black women, lets continue rising up and getting stronger.

Love Tabby

Crack Epidemic Leaders : Thanks a Lot!

2010-05-29T08:22:00.000-07:00

This message is to the very first generation of crack dealers in the black community. You know, the Nicki Barnes', Frank Lucas' and Nino Brown's (even though he was fictional he did exist in many corridors of the black community). This is a long post and different from my usual content, but please bear with me. It's important.

In the 1960s and early to mid 1970s, black people were strong, united, hard-working and a hellified force to be reckoned with. People were afraid of our power, so much that task forces were established by J. Edgar Hoover with the specific goal of investigating leaders like Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr. and powerful black groups like the Black Panthers.

Black people loved each other and loudly sang out "I'm Black and I'm PROUD!" Not caring who heard it.

Then came crack in the mid 1970s. It was cheap and it made you a whole lot of cash to buy your cars, jewels and women. Yay for you. But what about for us?

Take a look at the legacy you've left behind due to your greed and ignorance:

YOU are the reason why black crack babies who are grown up now (20s and 30s) are terrorizing the community and have no direction. Thanks a lot.

YOU are the reason why young black men want to grow up and become either 1) ball player or 2) crack slanger. You're the cause of why they don't realize that they have a brain that's good for more than passing a ball or bag of crack. Thanks a lot.

YOU are the reason why many black men don't have jobs. Felonious charges that haunt them for years, sometimes as much as a decade or more, prevent them from getting that wonderful position because they were influenced by YOU and your bullshhht when they were young. Now, even when they try to go straight they're hit with wall after wall. Thanks a lot original OG crack dealer.

YOU are the cause of why black rap music has debased the fabric of not only the black community, but America as a whole. Black rappers have absolutely no regard for the message they put out for youngsters to hear (slang dope and disrespect women) because of you and your influence. Thanks a lot.

YOU are the reason why people get shot in the hood, and nobody says a damned thing. Because you taught them not to snitch—just another way of keeping black people down in "their place." Thanks a lot.

YOU are the reason for the growth of welfare mentality in poorer black communities. You're why some young black girls in the hood coming up are influenced to believe that having a baby at 15 is their ticket to free money and living. Thanks a lot.

YOU are the reason why some black females in the hood in their 20s and 30s think that getting their dope dealer BF to buy them designer clothes is a sign that they've really made it in this world. Thanks crack slanger.

YOU are the reason why some younger black males don't know ANYTHING about their history, and gladly behave like the Uncle Toms of old upholding non-black females over their own women. Thanks a lot for helping to populate the community with more new school Uncle Toms in 2010 and beyond.

YOU are the reason why many young black women are now losing their loyalty to black men and "dating out" out of necessity. What choice do they have at this point with so many Uncle Toms abounding? It's either that, be disrespected, or be alone. More division in the community—thanks OG crack dealer.

YOU are the reason why a Jay Z (former drug dealer who seems proud of his past) and Beyonce (oversexualized caricature with a bad message for young girls) are upheld in some corridors of the black community instead of a Barack and Michelle—two educated folks who did the right thing all of their lives. Thanks a lot for that one.

YOU are the reason why people of all races actually believe that the average black woman is a lowly, ghetto welfare queen, even though the majority of black women are hard-working, educated, and successful. In fact, black women make more than their white counterparts. But thanks crack slanger, you are the cause of that widespread misconception.

I could go on an on down the list of how you are the source of all of the ills of the black community. I know that the majority of you are either dead, in jail, living on the streets, or trying to get a major motion picture made in your name ala American Gangster now, but I still feel it's important for us to lay the blame where it truly lies—squarely in the lap of the black men (and a few women) who promoted the proliferation of drugs into black communities after the civil rights movement.

Don't you see it was all a plan to weaken blacks after that ultra-powerful time for African Americans? And it worked swimmingly.

And don't you see that in 2010, that plan is still in motion? The media is the source of the attack now, mostly on black women because they know that black women are the last source of strength and perseverance in the black community. Disagree with me all you want, but just think about that for a moment.

Many black people love to play the blame game. We blame black men for not stepping up more in the community. We blame black women for raising future drug dealers and lacking males.

But in truth, the fault can easily be traced back to you, original crack dealer. Your greed and ignorance is the main cause of why too many black men don't have any sense or direction and black women are left alone to struggle for the community themselves. This solves the mystery—you (and that ever-strong compulsion to "go for self") are the problem. THANKS A WHOLE LOT.

VH1 TV Shows Depicting Classy Black Women Thriving

2010-05-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

Guess what America? Positive, classy black women on TV equal high ratings. What Chilli Wants, Basketball Wives, and Family Business Brandy and Ray J ratings.

Narrow minded TV executives are now eating crow after a new crop of black television shows depicting black women in a positive light are doing very well in ratings.

These are the latest ratings numbers from three new VH1 shows depicting positive, classy black women in a positive light:

Premiere Night:

What Chilli Wants 1.6 million viewers

Basketball Wives 1.6 million total viewers

Family Business Brandy and Ray J 1.5 million viewers

(source: TVbythenumbers )

Latest stats as of May 11:

What Chilli Wants 1.301 million viewers

Basketball Wives 1.234 million total viewers

Family Business Brandy and Ray J 962 million viewers

(source: TVbythenumbers )

These are the highest rated shows on VH1 right now (Tough Love Couples barely broke 800,000). Let's Talk About Pep also did very well in ratings last season.

So I guess violent, oversexed black women ala Flavor of Love aren't the only types people want to see on television after all VH1?

Taking this ratings cue, VH1 has decided to start a black female version of Sex and the City featuring Stacy Dash, Lauren London, and Lisa Raye.

This is the same feeling I got when Pantene finally realized that black women spend up to SIX times more than other cultures on hair products.

10 Black Commandments : Life Rules for Every Classy Black Lady to Follow

2010-04-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

Do not front on your friends. Men come and tend to go—true girlfriends stay true for the long haul. So when you find a new man, don't front on your girlfriends who were riding with you through the ups and downs of single life. If you make plans to go out with your girls, don't break them just because your new boo calls you up for a date at the last minute.
Do not wear a scarf or rollers outside. As a classy black lady, you know it's inappropriate to walk outside with your night scarf tied around your head. It's tasteless and tacky. I don't care if you're just running down the street to grab a milk from 7-11 – comb your hair out and put it in a ponytail or bun before you leave. Rollers? Do we really need to go there?
Educate yourself. A truly classy black lady is knowledgeable on a variety of subjects and aware of recent news. Read a non-fiction or "how to" book that will teach you something new regularly. Visit informational websites and read articles written by experts. Mix some CNN into your TV schedule along with your reality shows.
Do not play "Capn save em" with every man you meet. This has been one of my own personal vices in the past. While it's always best to be a sister and support to the men in your life, you are not personally responsible for the success of a grown man. If he messes up, that's his fault and his problem to resolve—not yours. Allow a man to be a man and figure things out on his own—nine times out of 10 that's exactly what he'll do.
Do not get loud in public. I don't care how mad you get while you're out and about. A classy black lady does not get loud, violent, or ghetto in public. If you're having a disagreement with a friend or beau while out in public, you pull the person aside to a private place before laying into him.
Get your "houses" in order. How can you call yourself a classy black lady if your home is classless and tasteless? Don't be "nice nasty." Your home is your castle—make sure that you keep it clean, tidy, and well organized. This commandment also applies to your personal "house" meaning your body. Treat it like a temple—eat healthy, exercise and stay fit, and protect yourself when being intimate. Take care of your teeth, hair, and skin. As Jim Rohn said, "Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live."
Your shoe and purse game must be tight at all times. Buying expensive material items is not going to fulfill your life—let's get that straight off the bat. But as a classy black lady, it's important to have two items on point—your purse and your shoes. Invest in one or two gorgeous, well-made purses and only buy high-quality shoes to put on your precious feet.
Save for your future. A smart and classy black lady knows the importance of saving money toward her future. Forget all those bogus and suspect reports about the net wealth of black women—you know your own situation and you know what you have to do to save for your future. Put money away in a safe place, like a CD, IRA or 401K account.
Experience and respect different cultures. As a classy black lady you should expand your mind by experiencing and respecting other cultures. Travel and visit new places. Don't be afraid to make friends with people from different cultures. Try new foods and activities that you wouldn't normally partake in. Cultural awareness is an important step to becoming a complete and well-rounded lady.
Love and appreciate your black sisters. Take a serious look around at your mothers, your sisters, your aunties, your sorority sisters, and your friends. Look at how they sacrifice for you and the other people in your life. Love and appreciate other black women for their strength, caring hearts, and beauty. We are a resilient group of women who despite being beaten down continue to rise up. Learn from the black women around you and continue to strive for excellence in your own life.

Classy black ladies, I know we've all fallen short of these simple commandments. Let's do better.

If you think I missed an important commandment that every classy black lady should follow, let me know in the comments area below.

12 Steps to Grow Black Hair Long -- Free Advice for Relaxed Black Hair

2010-04-02T15:55:00.000-07:00

To grow black hair long you've got to modify your daily habits. The process of growing afro hair is 90% about your method and 10% about the shampoos and conditioners you buy. As black ladies, we spend hundreds buying up pricey beauty products simply because some stranger on the Internet said it was the secret to grow black hair long. But here's the truth: the products you choose matter only a little. It's the way you treat your hair that matters the most if you want to grow black hair long. This article is the REAL DEAL. No need to buy books or scour the various websites for different methods. Just try this step by step process for growing black hair past the shoulders to the tee for at least two months. Then come back to this blog and let me know your results.

1. Get the right products to grow black hair long :

- Moisturizing shampoo and conditioner (like Pantene Relaxed and Natural)
- A good deep conditioner (like Mizani)
- Wide tooth comb & fine tooth comb
- Ceramic flat iron
- Chi Silk Infusion
- Chi IronGuard thermal hair protector spray
- Keracare conditioning hair crème
- Keracare hair sheen spray

Listen, as I said earlier the products matter only a little. You can use what you want as long as it's a comparable quality product to what I've suggested above. As you can see I have a personal preference for Chi and Keracare products but you can use any you'd like to grow black hair long.

2. Do you know why some black women's hair breaks off around the shoulders? What about why some black ladies can't seem to grow black hair long despite substantial new growth between relaxers. It's because strands of black hair are more delicate (especially when relaxed) It's also because we let our hair rub up against the harsh fabrics we wear. The reasons why it's sometimes hard to grow black hair long are pretty simple and logical. Read more about how the clothes we wear affects our hair here.

3. Wash black hair every 4 to 5 days to grow black hair long. There are no exceptions to this rule, you must wash your hair. Lather your hair while standing in the shower and make sure you do it the right way: 1) push all of your hair down straight to the back when you're washing 2) run your fingertips through your hair to remove all the buildup on your scalp 3) rinse and repeat the shampoo once or twice but don't overdo it 4) don't rub black hair all over your head like you see in the movies. The way you wash your hair is key to learning how to grow black hair long.

4. Proper Hair Conditioning is necessary to grow black hair long. Put your conditioner in going backwards. Then use a wide tooth comb to slowly detangle your hair. Take your time with your hair--use your fingertips to untangle the strands. Do not under any circumstance "rip" any comb or brush through your hair! Careful combing and detangling is extremely important if you want to grow black hair long. After you're finished, go back over your hair with a thin toothed comb this time. Again, do this slowly, carefully and gently from the root on down until your hair is completely detangled. Leave the conditioner on for at least 5 minutes before rinsing it out.

5. Deep conditioning is necessary to grow black hair long. Deep condition every 3 weeks when you wash. Same process as described in the previous step for conditioning except use the deep conditioning product of your choice, put on a heat cap, wrap everything up with a towel, then leave it on for a half hour before rinsing and moving onto the next step.

6. Use a paper towel to squeeze the excess moisture from your hair after washing. Avoid using a standard bath towel if your goal is to grow black hair long! Cotton bath towels are harsh on your hair.

7. Put some leave in conditioner in your hair after washing. Apply leave in conditioner--don't go overboard because you don't want to weigh down your hair--you want it light and fluffy. After that, add about a dime's worth of Chi Silk Infusion to your wet hair. The Silk Infusion helps keep your hair smooth, supple and shiny between washes and also helps you reach your main goal: to grow black hair long.

8. Roller set your hair. You can either let it air dry this way or sit under a bonnet dryer. Once your hair is completely dry, spray it with a thermal protector like Chi Ironguard (look to the left, to the left). The Iron Guard shields your hair from the intense heat of the blow dryer, curling iron, or flat iron. You need a thermal protector to help keep your strands in tact so that you can grow black hair long.

9. Flat iron your hair (optional). After blow drying out your roots, the ceramic flat iron will help straighten your hair to a silky shine. You may be pleasantly surprised at the results when you follow these steps to the tee. You can also add a light setting lotion when wet, braid your hair, and let your black hair dry curly as an alternative to the straight look. There's a Dominican hair product called Konzil (leave in lotion) that I've heard might help you get a better curly look. Remember: the less heat the better when you want to grow black hair long.

10. Spritz your hair with Keracare Oil Sheen spray (or a similar oil sheen spray for black hair) once in a while to keep it shiny and healthy. Keracare's version has a "humidity block" formula that's helpful when you're out in the hot sun.

11. Put Keracare conditioning crème hairdress on your hair ends and through your scalp every night. Not too much--just a dab on your finger. Afterwards, wrap your hair with a satin scarf before you go to sleep—wearing a satin scarf is required if you want to grow black hair long.

12. Wear protective styles (such as buns and butterfly hair clips) when your hair is in between washes. Don't allow black hair to brush on your shoulders for long periods of time. Let your hair down when you're going out for a hot date. When at home or just running around town put the hair up in a cute protective style. This simple habit will help you grow black hair long.

More Tips to Grow Black Hair Long:

Relax your hair three or four times a year. That's right, let it stretch for as long as possible. I personally like Optimum's relaxer because it has a breakage defense packet that you can put on your hair before applying the cream to new growth.

Consider buying more shirts made of satin or a satin robe to wear at home if you want your hair to hang down.

Did I say that you must wash your hair every 4 to 5 days to grow black hair long ? Regardless, it's worth repeating a thousand times over! Do not go a week or more without washing your hair--leaving dirt and oils in your hair does not promote black hair growth.

Forget what your ma, auntie or hair stylist told you in the past --do not apply heavy oils or grease to your hair if you want to grow black hair long. PERIOD. End of story.

Chi Silk Infusion Review — Classy Black Lady

2010-03-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

Want silky shiny locks? Chi Silk Infusion does the trick for African American hair.

All hair types are vulnerable to heat damage, but African American hair tends to be more fragile to the effects of excessive heat, especially when it's not conditioned correctly. If you're like me, you're more concerned with your hair's overall health and condition rather than just a great looking style.

I have relaxed, 2B (I think?) hair. Several months ago, I finally decided to order and try Chi Silk Infusion hair serum after watching a video on black hair care (see it here). Her hair came out great compared to the very beginning, right??

So anyway, I bought the Chi Silk Infusion online. I didn't follow sister Ateyaaa's regimen (from the video) to the tee—because I have my own. First I wash and condition (I really take my time with it, no pulling or manipulating over my head), then add leave in conditioner (I like Aphogee or the leave-in, strengthening conditioner that comes with Optimum relaxers).

My hair came out OK with this regimen before I purchased the Chi serum, but it wasn't ON POINT like I knew it could be. Something was missing from the recipe….

So finally I got my Chi Silk Infusion serum in the mail. I think I washed my hair that very day to see how it works.

After adding my leave in conditioner, I put a dab of the Chi in the middle of my palm, just as described in that video earlier. I rubbed that little bit of Chi through my hair and then proceeded with my roller set (yes, I do my hair Dominican-style).

I lovveeeeeee how soft and silky my hair came out (and still comes out) after flat ironing with the Chi Silk Infusion in my hair. It's truly amazing. I could not stop looking at myself in the mirror! I must have run my fingers through my hair 20 times, just like a commercial lol. I get compliments constantly about how healthy and silky my hair looks. You can see the quality here:

So my overall review of Chi Silk Infusion hair serum is *very* positive. 5 diamond studs. Chi is the same company that makes Chi flat irons. I personally use another high quality brand flat iron, but I imagine the Chi version is even better.

Have you tried Chi Silk Infusion hair serum yet? Let me know what you thought of it.

Review of L'Oreal Beauty Tubes Double Extend Mascara — Classy Black Lady

2009-11-05T03:15:00.000-08:00

L’Oreal Beauty Tubes Double Extend Mascara is a hit — could this be the end of falsies?

For about two years I've worn fake eyelashes for special events where "dramatic eyes" were a necessity. Long, full eyelashes are just classier and more feminine. I've always said that a woman's beauty is in her eyes, and eyelashes help to accentuate that beauty.

But I've heard that fake eyelashes can damage your own lashes over time. This is due to the fact that you have to pull and tug at your lash line when you remove them. Not to mention, glue residue sometimes stays on the eye lid, which can't be good for your lashes.

So I was open to an alternative to wearing fake lashes.

A few weeks ago I was in the beauty section of my local discount store browsing, and found a product that I'd seen on TV many times, L'Oreal's new Beauty Tubes Double Extend Mascara.

This mascara is supposed to lengthen your lashes dramatically, as if you are wearing extensions or falsies. It costs about $10 – a lot more than I would normally spend on a tube of standard mascara – but I figured I'd give it a try.

It turned out to be a good investment. I put it on for the first time the night of a date. You put the white side on first (which is a fortifying base that creates the length), then follow up with the black side to cover up the white (unless you want to go outside looking like the ice queen from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe!).

This stuff is great. I'm not sure how it works, but it does! The white base extends, holds and dries at least a half inch longer than your actual lash. The black mascara goes right on both the lash and the extension nicely. Here's the results:

You really have to put it on pretty thick if you want volume. I realized this on the second application just a few days ago. The Beauty Tubes mascara looks just as good as the fake eyelashes I sometimes like to wear, so I will be using this product the majority of the time from now on. (Did I mention that they are waterproof? So no smearing in the rain or after a good cry.)

One last quick note—when taking the L'Oreal Beauty Tubes mascara off, get a paper towel or cotton ball very wet and just squeeze it over your lashes (gently) for a few moments. This helps loosen up the extensions so that you can pull them off. Be very careful and gentle--this might take a few minutes.

My verdict on L'Oreal Beauty Tubes Double Extend Mascara is four diamond studs out of five.

So, what do you think of Loreal's Beauty Tubes mascara?

Classy Black Lady

2009-10-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

Hi, I’m Tabby. And I am proud to be a classy black lady. I want to give you a little background on why I’ve decided to start this blog and my website www.classyblacklady.com .

Let me just preface this by saying I’m a pretty girl. I’m a very young-looking lady in her thirties. Smart, intuitive, and I make my own money. I’m healthy and in-shape, medium length hair (no weave), with smooth chocolate brown skin. I’m not a gold digger and I’m farrrrr from ghetto. I went to a very good college and graduated (though that doesn’t seem to matter much today!). I love my family and I treat my loved ones like gold. I have a positive outlook on life.

But about a month ago, I was going through a bit of a depression. I had just ended yet another relationship and was starting to realize that men just aren’t the same as they were 10 years ago. Sad, but true.

Unfortunately, now many men treat women like trash to be thrown away when they’re done. They don’t appreciate or value class in a woman it seems.

My “mistake” in my last few short relationships was being too proud to be treated like trash. I stood up for myself. I didn’t do anything that I didn’t want to do. I didn’t compromise my self-worth for these men and they responded with childish games. So I ended the relationships.

Years ago, telling a guy about himself and ending the relationship would cause the guy to get some “act right” as we black women sometimes like to call it.

But not anymore ladies! Now they just move on and find fast, silly girls with no morals who will do everything and anything they want. And I do mean ANYthing. In their minds, they’ve got it made. (By the way, I will talk about what eventually happens to these guys in another blog post).

So after this last breakup, I started to wonder if maybe I have the wrong approach. Maybe I should bend and fold to the every whim of the men I date. Maybe I should chase them, call them every day, and ask THEM out on dates. Maybe I should let my boobs pop out of my dress on dates. Maybe I should get on my knees (if you know what I mean) every day to prove how much I want the guy I’m with.

And for a hot minute, I was actually considering this approach. I’m not going to lie to you. I thought, obviously, what I’ve been doing so far hasn’t worked. I’ve been engaged but never married. I’ve never truly been in love. I don’t have guys lining up at my door like I did in college. So maybe it’s time for ME to change.

But before I had a chance to put this new “plan” in action, I caught a glimpse of one of my favorite black female role models, First Lady Michelle Obama, on television–looking stunning as usual. She inspires me.

I started to think about how she managed to maintain her integrity, stay classy, and snag a man who would one day be President. She’s also independent and strong, and people love that about her. She is valued and loved by many.

I took a deep breath and got back to my senses. I’m not going to stop being classy and smart for ANY body.

I printed up a few pictures of women who I thought were classy and posted them on my bedroom wall for motivation. Then I made a promise to myself (and to God) that I will not allow the world to change me into a classless, loose, desperate women who lacks morals.

So I’ve started this blog and my website www.classyblacklady.com for 3 reasons:

1) To support classy black women (and women in general) and to say “you’re not crazy nor wrong.” Stay classy and don’t let anyone compromise your morals. We need more classy women to combat the ignorant stereotypes of black women that are splashed across our television, computer, and movie screens.

2) To put trashy, easy women who are spoiling men on the spot and try to encourage them to change. Trashy girl, your tactics for getting and keeping men don’t work either (at least not for the long haul). Start demanding respect from men and the world. At least you’ll have your dignity intact.

3) To encourage young black ladies who are coming up among disrespectful and ignorant young men to maintain their morals and stay classy.

My personal focus of course, as a black lady, is black women. But these ideals can apply to women of all races and backgrounds. I pray that non-black women will not be offended by the focus of this blog and still find value in the advice and posts.

In my blog and on my website I will discuss a variety of issues and create a special community for classy black ladies, including:

* Dating & relationships
* Postings of news and photos about classy black female celebs (we need to build them up)
* Beauty tips and features
* Dressing with class not like trash
* History nuggets and profiles of strong black women
* Statistics about how powerful black women are to the community around us
* Polls to gauge your opinions on various issues
* Message boards encouraging discussions among black women who are proud to be classy and intelligent
* Personal mantras that we can adopt to keep us resilient even when the temptation to be trashy instead of classy is so strong
* Blogs and articles from married black women who found their husbands while maintaining their integrity and class
* Much more….

Until then...
Out with the Trash... In with the Class!

-T